Page 81 of Their Ruthless Sadist

Despite my better judgment, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was they were doing.

And whether or not they were thinking of me while they did it.

Brax (the cowboy)

“We’re gonna have to talk about this, Brax,” Case said for the two-dozenth time.

Ever chopped vegetables? For me, this was therapeutic. Taking my time, focusing on the little things. That was how I grounded myself, remained in the here and now. Unless, of course, someone wanted to chat. At that point, focusing was nearly impossible.

“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” I answered, exactly as I had every time he’d mentioned it since yesterday afternoon when he came home to find me strapped to a table with a machine gearing up to make me come.

Case sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch. I spared him a quick glance. He was swiping his phone repeatedly, as though scrolling through images. I had no idea what he was doing, but he’d been at it for a while.

“So, I’ve been lookin’ for a place,” Case prompted after a few minutes of blessed silence. “I think I might’ve narrowed it down to a few. Not easy when I don’t know anything about the area, but I think we should go look at ’em today.”

My gaze shot over the kitchen island to where Case was sprawled on the couch, one leg up, one leg down. He appeared casual, but I knew better. He was as stressed as I was. “What? We’re not… No, Case.”

I heard the rustle of the leather cushions as he got to his feet. “Look. I think Zeke’s probably ready for us to go. So, while we’re lookin’ for a place, we should go back to the apartment for a while. Let’s hire some people to move our things in, and we can check out these places. If any of them strike our fancy, we can put in an offer. Be in our own house in a month and a half, tops.”

I shook my head and turned my attention back to the meal I was prepping for tonight. “In case you forgot, you had a panic attack when we went into that apartment.”

“I hear ya,” Case replied. “But I’m all better now. I’m sure it was just an overreaction on my part.”

Yeah, right. Case wasn’t prone to overreacting. I stared at him as he neared. I was still curious as to what had prompted that panic attack. Something had triggered it, but I didn’t know what. Never in all the time I’d known him had he had that sort of reaction to anything.

“We’re not goin’ back to the apartment,” I stated firmly. “I say we stay put for now.”

“What are you makin’?” he asked as he sidestepped the island, moving closer.

“Mustard-crusted boneless prime rib roast with cream sauce,” I told him, although I knew he didn’t want the specifics. The only thing he would’ve caught from that was prime rib.

Case’s hand curled around my bicep, and he tugged me around so I was forced to look at him. Placing the knife on the counter and picking up the hand towel, I gave him my full attention.

“What happened yesterday, Brax … in the basement… I heard what you told Zeke.” He cupped my face and my chest constricted. “It’s not true. I don’t want Zeke more than you. I don’t even want him as much as I want you.”

My eyes focused on the center of his chest. I couldn’t look him in the eye because I was embarrassed enough that I’d found myself in that position. Not that I had an issue with the scene. That damn fucking machine had done a number on me and not in a bad way. However, the fact that I’d broken down and admitted something so stupid still caused my cheeks to warm.

We’d officially been with Zeke for one week, and for some stupid reason, I was allowing things to move too quickly. What I said to Zeke was true, but I should’ve kept it to myself. I had no right to fuck this up for the three of us because of petty jealousy.

“Babe, I think it’s time we did our own thing again,” Case said. “This isn’t working.”

“But it is,” I countered. “I know it is, Case. I see the way you look at Zeke, and I know what you need from him.”

He frowned, his dark eyebrows shooting downward. “What do you mean, the way I look at him? I don’t look at him any way. He’s just a man who can… Regardless, that’s not what I want from him.”

I sighed, resting my ass against the countertop. “I get it, Case. I really do. Zeke’s an enigma. He’s the Prince of Darkness, and he can give you things no one else can. You want to explore this with him, to see where it might lead.”

Case jerked away from me and ran his hand over his short hair. “That’s not true. I can get what I need from—”

“Anyone but me,” I said, cutting off whatever lie he was going to tell me. I couldn’t hide the sadness in my tone. “But I knew that going into it, Case. Zeke was right. It wasn’t fair for me to get all butt-hurt over it. He’s givin’ us what we asked for. It isn’t my place to ask for more, and I damn sure shouldn’t be jealous.”

Case turned back to look at me, something akin to grief written on his face. “This is what I didn’t want to happen, Brax.”

“I know. And that’s on me.” I motioned toward the food I was preparing. “Which is why I’ll just focus on cooking for the two of you and … we’ll figure it out from there. I just need to take a step back.”

That much was true. I really did need to take a step back, to look at this objectively. Unfortunately, my emotions had always run hot. I was quick to get into relationships of any kind. Friends, lovers. I’d been accused of caring more than I should. And I couldn’t deny that I did care about Zeke. Far more than he wanted me to.

“You wanna take a step back from me?” Case blurted, his eyes rounding as though horrified by my response.