Page 141 of Their Ruthless Sadist

Brax had questioned me a couple of times this past week, obviously seeing the darkness lurking inside me. For whatever reason, my past had come to the forefront as soon as things smoothed out with Zeke.

That was how it worked for me, though. When things were going well, I tended to dwell on the past, fighting my own demons. When there was chaos in my life, I could focus on the here and now. The past month had been easy since the interactions with Zeke had kept me fully focused on the three of us.

Now, it appeared my past was coming back with a vengeance, and I wasn’t the only one who was about to deal with it.

“Pretty boy, it’s your turn again. What’s your pleasure?” Zeke prompted.

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. It was now or never.

“First, I need something from you,” I told him.

Zeke appeared in front of me, his eyes narrowed. I could tell he was searching my face for a clue.

“If it’s in my power, I’ll give it to you,” he whispered.

I swallowed hard. “I’ll reveal my pain if you reveal yours.”

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity before he finally nodded. “Deal.”

“And what’s your request for now?” he asked.

“Subspace, Zeke.”

That seemed to surprise him because he didn’t respond immediately.

“In return, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Zeke remained where he was, directly in front of me, and I forced my eyes to lock on his face. I didn’t want him to see the pain that coursed through me, but there was no way to fight it.

He stepped close enough to touch my face. I leaned into his hand. “But you have to agree not to judge me.”

“Never, Case,” he said, his tone ripe with conviction. “I will never judge you.”

I nodded, hoping he meant that, because what he wanted to know wasn’t a memory I enjoyed reliving. On the other hand, I knew it was the reason for so many things in my life.

“Brax has to promise, too,” I whispered.

“I love you, Case,” Brax said from behind me. “I would never judge you.”

I held Zeke’s stare. “Can I have a minute?”

“Of course.”

He disappeared, and I heard him moving around. I got the feeling he was releasing Brax from the St. Andrew’s Cross. Considering this entire charade had been set up for this moment, it made sense.

“Subspace, Zeke,” I said as a reminder.

“You have my word, pretty boy. I’ll let you fly.”

His words choked me up. I never thought I’d be in this place where I had the opportunity to have all I’d ever wanted. Zeke would be able to give me what Brax couldn’t. In return, I could love them both and know that I was complete.

Closing my eyes, I tried to relax. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and forced the words out. “My parents moved to Texas when I was fourteen. I left all my friends behind. People who’d become important to me, some I’d known all my life.

“When we got to Dallas, I knew no one. The school I enrolled in was overpopulated, far bigger than the small town I’d lived in. I met John on my first day there. He was in my World History class. It was ninth grade. We became friends immediately.

“I recognized something in him that I connected with. Although I suspected, I hadn’t yet put a label on myself when it came to my sexuality. I was popular with the girls, and I’d had a few girlfriends in junior high, but I had never quite connected with any of them. It wasn’t until John that I realized who I really was. With every passing day, we became closer.”

I swallowed as the memories consumed me.