Page 45 of Worth the Risk

“I wouldn’t have chosen to end our relationship if you’d talked to me, but on this side of things, I can see that our jobs will always be an obstacle for us. I don’t think it’s fair for either of us to have to change the trajectory of our careers. You’re right. Being in the ER means a lot to me, and you’ve wanted this promotion for a long time. Dr. Serrano is the problem right now, but even if we somehow convince him to back down, what’s to say someone else wouldn’t have a problem with us dating?”

She looked defeated, but there was something about her voice that hit differently. It was almost like she was trying to convince herself of what she was saying.

“You don’t trust me anymore.”

She flicked her eyes to me for a second before looking away again, but it was enough to tell me I was right.

It wasn’t just that our jobs would be a problem, it was that she didn’t trust me to do the right thing for us when the problems arose. I knew that we could deal with anything as long as we did it together, but why would she believe that? I’d proven to her that I would let her down when there was conflict between her and my job.

No matter how much I insisted that I’d changed, she wouldn’t believe it because words were easy.

I had to try to prove her wrong.

“Zoey?” Jake’s voice came from the side of the bungalow, and he walked into view, his eyes narrowing as he saw me. “What are you doing here?”

Zoey stood. “Drop it, Jake.”

He ground his teeth together and glared at me for another moment, but then he turned his attention to her. “You ready to go?”

“What?” I got to my feet. “You’re leaving now?”

Everyone was supposed to fly back home together. Our week in paradise was over, and it was time to return to our lives.

That was why Zoey was doing this. She thought that I’d revert to my old ways when we were back home.

“My flight is in two hours,” she said. She turned to Jake. “I just have to shove a few things into my suitcase. Give me ten minutes.”

I stepped in front of her before she could go inside. “Zoey, please. We aren’t done.”

She placed a hand on my cheek, and I leaned into it. Her smile was sad. “Of course we’re not. We’re going to have a baby. No matter what, we’ll always be connected by that.”

She went inside while I stood there, feeling like she’d just gutted me. Jake followed, but he gave me a surprisingly sympathetic look for a man who was pissed off about me impregnating his sister.

He felt bad for me.

Well, he was wasting his pity. I wasn’t giving up. One way or another, I’d prove myself to Zoey. This wasn’t the end of our story.

Chapter Seventeen: Zoey

My apartment feels different when I arrive home Sunday evening.

Leaving Sirona Isle was harder than I thought it’d be. It felt like I was leaving a part of myself behind. Or maybe just the person I was when I arrived.

Only a week had passed on that island, but I felt like I’d changed in ways that were irreversible.

Rolling my suitcase into my bedroom, I heaved it onto the bed and opened it up. I knew that if I didn’t unpack right away, I’d end up walking past the suitcase for days, putting off dealing with it until I wanted to wear something inside of it.

Bundling the dirty clothes in my arms, I shoved them all into the hamper in the bathroom. On my way back to the bed to grab my toiletries out of the suitcase, I passed a chair in the corner of the room.

I didn’t sit there often, and I tended to toss my jackets or purse onto it.

What caught my eye today was a sweatshirt that belonged to Ford. I’d borrowed it the last time I stayed the night because it was an unexpectedly chilly morning when I left his place to come home. It was nothing special, just an old one with University of Illinois printed on the front, but the sight of it made a heavy weight sink into my chest.

Picking it up, I brought it to my nose and inhaled the scent of cedar and amber. Ford’s cologne.

An overwhelming barrage of emotions made my knees feel weak, and I sank into the chair with a sigh. I wanted to feel confident in my decision to reject Ford, but life wasn’t that easy. I’d gone back and forth between regret and hope all day long.

The truth was that I didn’t know what I wanted because I still loved the man, but it felt dangerous to believe in us again. I didn’t want to always worry that any happiness we found together would be paid for in pain when he made a decision that hurt me again.