Page 37 of Worth the Risk

“Don’t worry about anyone else,” I said.

But the truth was that we didn’t need to worry anyway, because we’d somehow ended up at the back of the group. In fact, we were lagging behind by about ten feet.

“I guess we should catch up,” I said, unable to suppress the displeasure in my voice.

Zoey lifted one shoulder in a careless gesture. “We’re fine. I slowed down so that you wouldn’t have to struggle to keep up.”

I winced, embarrassed. “I had a long night.”

Zoey’s eyes flashed with a hint of the pain I’d seen there last night.

“I blocked her,” I blurted. “Delilah, I mean. I told her that we were never going to happen, that I’m seeing someone else, and I blocked her number.”

Zoey’s eyebrows drew together. “But you’re not seeing someone else.”

That was a knife to the chest.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m loyal to you, Angel. Whether you take me back or not.”

She didn’t seem to know what to say to that, and silence fell between us as we continued to walk, still lagging a little behind the others. I wanted to reach for her hand, but I didn’t think she’d welcome that, so I didn’t.

I missed when I could touch her anytime I wanted, kiss her just because I felt like it. I didn’t appreciate that when I had it and if I got it back, I promised myself that I’d never take it for granted again.

“Are you excited about the baby?” I asked, realizing that we hadn’t really talked too much about it. Initially, it was such a shock to find out that she was pregnant that I didn’t even think to ask how she felt about it.

Her eyes shifted to the canopy of leaves overhead, then to the path beneath our feet. “I’m… nervous,” she mumbled.

“Hey, talk to me. What are you nervous about?”

“I… I guess I’m not sure I’ll be a good mom,” she said, her voice hushed. We were too far back from the group for her to be worried about being overheard, so I suspected it was shame tightening her vocal cords.

“You’re going to be amazing.” I put every bit of conviction I felt into my voice. But she still looked doubtful. “Zo, you are a caring, smart, and sensitive woman. All of that will make you a great mom.”

“I hope so.” Her voice was small, diminished.

“I never told you much about my mom, did I?” I never really talked about her if I could avoid it. So, even though we were together for six months, I only vaguely told Zoey that I was taken from her when I was thirteen years old and put into foster care until I aged out. “She was a drug addict.”

Zoey gasped, her eyes asking a million questions even though she didn’t speak any of them out loud.

“It was cocaine. I don’t know exactly when it started, but some of my earliest memories involve erratic behavior from her. I have no idea who my dad is, and I suspect that she doesn’t really know either, so it was always just the two of us. She’d go through these highs and lows that I just thought were normal because she’d been like that my whole life. One day, she’d be super talkative, full of energy and restlessness, and the next, she’d crash. She’d sleep all day long, and when she woke up, she’d seem so sad, almost lost. Looking back, it’s so obvious, but how is a kid to know any better when she’d always been like that?”

Zoey reached for my hand then, seemingly uncaring about anyone seeing us as she laced her fingers through mine.

“Other people started to notice over time,” I continued. “The school. Neighbors. My friends’ parents. Eventually, CPS got involved. They took me away from her, and I had no other family, so I went straight into foster care. But the worst part is that it was made very clear to me that I would never go back to her because she wouldn’t even attempt to get clean in order to get me back. I mean, it wasn’t a great life, living with someone that was coked up half the time and blowing through all her money and suffering from depression when she crashed, but she was my mom, you know? She should’ve wanted me back enough to at least try.”

My chest was tight, and I couldn’t look directly at her because I didn’t want to see pity in her pretty brown eyes. Zoey squeezed my hand.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“You’re a good person, Zoey, the kind that would naturally put her child first. It doesn’t matter that your mom left or that your dad’s too obsessed with money to realize he has such an amazing daughter. You’re naturally good, and I know you’re going to be the best mom to our kid.”

She gave me a small smile. “We will be great parents.”

Together. We were going to be great parents together.

But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to push her after last night.

“Yes, we will.”