Page 3 of Worth the Risk

Again, it made sense to keep what we were doing a secret until he—hopefully—got the job. But it had been so long now, and we never went out on dates or touched in public. He was one of my brother’s closest friends, so we saw each other socially sometimes, and I had to act like we were nothing but co-workers. Then, there was gossip around the hospital about him still wanting his ex…

It was all starting to get to me.

“I’d better get back to work,” Ford said, unaware of the tendril of hurt snaking around my heart. “Can you come over tonight? I want to make you dinner.”

I nodded with a small smile, burying my negative feelings. “That sounds great, actually. I’m already exhausted and I’m only halfway through my shift.”

A crease appeared between his eyebrows. “You said you were tired yesterday too.”

I shrugged. “Don’t overthink it, doctor. I’m on my feet all day here. It’s natural to feel tired.”

“Then, I’ll have to pamper you a bit. Be at my place at six, okay?”

“I can’t wait.”

As he left the room, I finished a quick clean of the exam room, my mind lingering on Ford and the cold feeling that settled into my chest when he pulled away from me. I knew that making out with him at the hospital was beyond unprofessional, but it wasn’t about that.

Even knowing the reason that we kept things secret, I couldn’t help feeling ashamed of it, like I was settling for less because I was in love with a man that needed me to hide in the dark for the sake of his career. All I could do was hope that when the board voted on a new director of residency, things would change for the better.

If they didn’t, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on like this.

Chapter Two: Ford

If I have to fake one more smile, my face might crack.

I looked around the ballroom, feeling overwhelmed not by the sheer amount of people but by the prospect of hobnobbing with the most influential members of Lakeview Medical for the next hour or two. I would much rather have been spending this gala with other attending doctors and one particular nurse that I had yet to spot among the crowd.

“Ford, it’s nice to see you outside of the hospital, for a change,” Dr. Hirschi said, clapping me on the shoulder.

I managed yet another stiff smile as I turned to him. “Well, it’s a pleasure to get out of my scrubs and put on a tuxedo for a change.”

I was lying, of course. I would much rather have been dressed for work than wearing this formal attire that was too tight around my neck. Like a noose.

But this was all part of playing the game. If I wanted to get ahead, I couldn’t just do my job well. I had to do things like dress up and make small talk with the men and women that would decide my fate in just a few short weeks. Would I remain an attending in the emergency room like I’d been for the past four years or would I become the head of the residency program?

I could make a real difference in either position but moving into a role with authority and influence was important to me. It would prove that I wasn’t just good; I was exceptional. I’d always wanted that. Always wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of that.

But at times like this, I had to wonder if it was worth it, especially as Dr. Hirschi’s daughter came sauntering up to us. Delilah was beaming at me, and instead of standing by her dad, she came to my side, looping her arm through mine before I could react.

“There you are,” she cooed. “I’ve been looking for you.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Delilah always seemed to home in on my location effortlessly, sniffing out my whereabouts like a bulldog after a bone. Her clingy possessiveness was exhausting. We hadn’t been a couple for nearly two years, but she still acted like she had a claim on me.

“You look lovely tonight, princess,” Dr. Hirschi said, leaning in to press a kiss to his daughter’s cheek.

“Thanks, Dad.” Her eyes shifted to me with expectation in their hazel depths. She wanted me to echo the compliment, but that wasn’t going to happen. Normally, I’d gladly tell a woman she looked nice when decked in a floor-length ballgown like Delilah was, if only to be polite, but she was bound to take it to mean more coming from me. I had to stay on Dr. Hirschi’s good side for now, and part of that meant putting up with Delilah’s flirtatious behavior without outright rejecting her.

It was a complicated dynamic because I was the one that ended my engagement to Delilah. The truth was that the relationship never should’ve gone that far. We had little in common, and over time, I’d realized just how self-centered and irresponsible she could be. I liked to think of my proposal as nothing more than a bout of temporary insanity, but the deeper truth was that I was flattered by how much she wanted me. I let it go to my head, and it drowned out my doubts about us for far too long. Maybe it was abandonment issues from my childhood that I didn’t like to think too much about, or maybe it was just my ego overriding my common sense.

All I knew was that after Delilah pressured me into marriage and I put that ring on her finger, I regretted it almost immediately. It was a hell of a lot harder to overlook the problems between us when I was staring down the barrel of a lifetime with this woman. So, I broke things off as gently as I could, but there was no way to avoid hurt feelings. She was upset, and because she was a self-proclaimed “daddy’s girl,” that led Dr. Hirschi to resent me for a long time.

The last thing I wanted to do was bring up bad memories or reignite his anger toward me, especially just a couple of weeks before the board was due to finally vote on the issue of appointing a director of residency. That thought kept me in place and prevented me from pulling away from Delilah.

“Quite the turnout,” I commented instead, my eyes scanning the room again.

I wasn’t really interested in the large crowd or even how much money the tickets for this event would bring in for the hospital, although I knew that I probably should have cared about that.

I just wanted to see if my girl was here yet. The gala started an hour ago, so I figured she was around somewhere.