Page 96 of When In Doubt

“With all this. Like, I’m coming up on the end of my probation, and I just want to do a good job, you know?”

Why’s he asking me? “Maybe you should talk to Mack about this?”

“I did.” He shrugs. “But I wanted your opinion too.”

I chew the inside of my lip. He really cares what I think? “Just keep doing what you’re doing. All you need is more experience.”

“Nothing else?”

“Well, you could stop giving me shit all the time.” We get to the end of our checks and go to reel the lines back in.

“Nah, you’d miss my shit.”

I pull down the shutter, ready to finally get some food, when the alarm starts blaring.

“Fuck my life,” I groan, letting my head fall against the cool metal. I guess this dinner is cursed.

Mack appears from the office door as I jog towards my equipment.

“What are we looking at?” I ask across the room.

“Apartment block,” he calls without looking, moving to the truck.

A trickle of ice catches at the back of my throat. There aren’t many apartment blocks in town, maybe three?

But that doesn’t mean it’s her.

I repeat the words to myself as I approach Mack. I grip the handrail on the passenger side, my face level with his knees, my knuckles white.

“Where?” I try to sound casual.

Mack looks away from his computer. Seeing it’s me, his face shifts almost imperceptibly, and it’s all I need to know. My heart starts hammering against my ribs as I turn on my heel and run back to finish getting my gear on.

Get there, get there, get there.

The thoughts play on a loop, time feeling like it’s slowing down as I zip my jacket shut and grab my helmet.

“Murphy.” Mack’s voice comes from behind me. “You know you’ve got to sit this one out.”

“No,” I growl, moving past him to haul myself up into the rig.

“Murph.”

“No.”

Jenna slides in across from me and I slam the door closed. Mack climbs in up front, his body twisting to face me.

“Oscar, you’re not in any state⁠—”

“Just fucking drive,” I snap. “We’re wasting time.”

“I can’t let you come.” His face is like stone, but if he really thinks I’m gonna sit behind while Freya could be in danger, then he’s a moron.

“You’re going to have to drag me out of here and lock me in your office, and we both know you don’t have time for that.”

He looks at me and I stare him down. Whatever he sees, it’s enough to turn to Jenna and give her a nod.

I try to control my breathing as terrifying flashes of every worst-case scenario invade my vision. Freya hurt, scared, trapped. Her calling for me, waiting for me to come, me not being able to help her. I squeeze my eyes shut, resting the back of my head against the seat.