Page 66 of When In Doubt

“I’m fine,” I whisper.

I should step away, put some space between us. I have no idea what’s happening here and my heart is beating so hard I might crack a rib, but I can’t bring myself to move.

I finally pull myself together enough to step out of his hold. Oscar steps back, huffing out a breath and shoving his hands into the pocket of his denim jacket.

“Good.” He nods to himself. “That’s good.”

I don’t know what to say to him. I’m aware of heat rising to my cheeks as I take him in. He’s out of uniform, in a green flannel tucked into dark wash jeans, and a heavy canvas jacket. His hair’s pushed back, but there’s one errant strand that falls across his forehead. I find myself wanting to close the distance and tuck it away for him.

He’s giving me one of his soft smiles that makes me go warm inside. I thought he’d be sulking, but there’s none of that there. He just looks happy to see me and it makes my heart flutter.

“I, um… I was actually looking for you.” He scratches at the back of his neck, shifting from foot to foot.

“You were?

“I wanted to apologize. In case I made you uncomfortable the other day.”

He’s apologizing? What could he have to feel bad about?

“You don’t need to do that. It should be me.”

“Why?” He peers at me. “For saying no?” I give him a small nod and he frowns down at the ground, grumbling something I can’t hear. When he meets my eyes again, there’s an intensity that almost makes me gasp. “Freya, listen to me. Don’t ever apologize to me for saying what you want.”

He really means it, doesn’t he?

“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” I tell him. Not because of him anyway.

I take a deep breath, remembering everything Luci said to me. It would just be one date. I wouldn’t have to do anything else, wouldn’t be committing to anything more. And he seems like he would be alright taking things slow?

“That’s good.” His smile turns into a lazy sort of smirk. “Well, if you ever change your mind, you just let me know, okay?”

He turns to go and without any thought, my hand shoots out, catching hold of his sleeve.

My stomach churns so hard I think I might be sick, but I want this. I want to try.

“What if…” My mouth goes dry and it’s hard to get the words out. “What if I had changed my mind?”

His face splits into a surprised smile. “Yeah?”

“What would happen?”

“Well.” He moves a fraction closer and picks up one of my hands. His fingers are warm, and even though I can make out the callouses he’s gathered, it’s still soft. “I would ask if you wanted to get lunch tomorrow?”

Lunch. I can do lunch.

“Just that?”

“Just lunch, nothing to stress about.”

“I think you’re underestimating my ability to stress about things.”

“I’m starting to get an idea.” He gives me a wry smile. “We could go to Becca’s? It’ll be like when we last had lunch, just forty feet to the left.”

“I do like her paninis.” I look down at where he’s still holding my hand. He notices at the same time as me and I could almost cry when he lets it go.

“You can have anything you want.”

Chapter Twenty-Two