Page 166 of When In Doubt

“I’m sure he’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

“I hope so.”

I check my phone again and see a message from Valerie. I scramble to unlock it.

VALERIE

He’s here.

Chapter Fifty-Four

OSCAR

“Oscar, what are you doing here?” My mom’s face twists as she opens the door.

“Sorry, I uh—” I stumble over my words. “I just needed…” I look down at my shoes. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing here.

“Come on, come inside.” She ushers me into the living room. “Sit,” she orders. I obey, almost getting swallowed by the overstuffed couch.

“I’m sorry for just showing up.”

“You’re supposed to be at dinner.”

I look up with a jolt of panic to see her texting someone. Shit, I knew there was somewhere I needed to be. Freya. Freya’s waiting for me. I start to root through my pockets, trying to find my phone. I need to call her, to apologize. Where the hell is it? I find nothing in either of my jacket pockets. Fuck. I think I left it at home.

“It’s alright, I’m texting her now.”

I drop my head into my hands. “She’ll be so pissed.”

“She’s not angry, she’s just worried.” Mom comes and takes a seat on the coffee table, bracing her hands on her knees, leveling me with a hard stare. “I’m worried, too.”

“I’m alri⁠—”

“Don’t bullshit me.”

I lean back, letting the cushions envelop me.

“Where have you been today?” Mom asks.

I have to think back. “Just at home. I was tired, so I slept in.”

I hardly slept at all last night. I just kept staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about the callout, how I’d frozen up, how I’d let everyone down. I finally passed out sometime around three a.m. and woke up at one this afternoon.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you come over before now?”

“I was fine,” I mumble. It’s a lie and we both know it. The entire day has been like there’s a fog over my eyes. I haven’t been able to do anything. I barely managed to clean out Harvey’s hutch, I don’t even know where the hours went. Suddenly it hit seven, and I knew I needed to leave, but I didn’t know where.

I just couldn’t look at my four walls anymore, so I ended up at the first place I could think to come.

“Oscar,” she says firmly. “This can’t go on. You need to talk to me, or talk to someone. You’ve been a wreck since Mack died.” I flinch as she says his name “And that’s understandable, but you can’t just bottle it up.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I can handle it. I just need to get work under control and I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah? And how’s that going?”