Page 144 of When In Doubt

I giggle into the covers, turning to rest my cheek against the soft fabric. “So good.”

“Okay,” he huffs. “I’m gonna need a minute.”

“Take your time.” I have no desire to move. Even sticky and hardly able to breathe with Oscar half crushing me, I don’t remember a time when I felt this comfortable. I almost protest when he finally pulls out, rolling onto the bed beside me. Gentle fingers work at the knot behind my head before the tie falls away. I squint against the light as it floods my eyes. Even though it’s dim, I still bury my face in the covers. I feel Oscar moving around next to me.

“Wait here.” He presses a kiss to my shoulder before rolling off the bed. I want to pull him back, but I can’t quite feel my limbs yet.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I mumble.

I listen as he washes up in the bathroom, then to the sound of drawers opening and shutting.

“How are you doing, baby?” He sits next to me, his fingers stroking away the strands of hair that have fallen across my face.

I crack an eye open, fatigue consuming me. A flash of red catches my eye and I see what he’s got on his lap. “Are those my pajamas?” When did he pick those up? I reach out, arms feeling like overcooked spaghetti, and rub a thumb along the fabric. It feels new, not the well-worn softness that mine have after too many runs through the wash. “They’re not mine.”

He keeps his gaze on his lap. “I just wanted you to have the things you like when you’re here.”

I push myself up, wanting to wrap myself around him, and not wasting any time succumbing to the urge. “I love them, thank you.” I go to kiss his cheek but he turns into me, catching my lips with his.

“I love you,” he whispers against me, and it still feels just as good to hear it as it did the first time a week ago.

The emotion bubbles up in me, like heating lava, ready to erupt. I can’t keep it in. It burns away those last feelings of fear, the ice that’s kept me frozen for so long. I stare down at the pajamas, the latest in all the things he’s done to make sure I’m comfortable, to make me feel safe.

It’s him.

He’s it.

“I love you,” I murmur, barely audible, but he doesn’t miss it.

He rears back, eyes searching mine. “What?”

“I love you.” I say it again, louder this time.

He starts laughing. “Holy shit.”

Fast as lighting, his mouth is on mine. Our teeth clash in messy kisses, Oscar laughing all the while. He dusts his lips over every part of my face he can reach, until finally he rests his forehead against my temple. “You can stay tonight, right?” he asks.

“If you want me to?”

“Of course, I-I always want you to.”

“Then, I’ll stay.”

He stands, smoothing out the creases in the pajamas. He keeps shaking his head, like he can’t believe what’s happening. Him and me both.

“Arms up, honey,” he says, holding out the shirt. I do as I’m told and he slips the fabric over my head. My breath catches as he drops to his knees in front of me. He tugs my feet down from where they’re curled underneath me and carefully feeds them into the pant legs. “Hips,” he murmurs. I lift up enough for him to settle the waistband into place, then he’s guiding me down until my head hits the pillow. “You need anything to eat? Water? You warm enough?”

I laugh sleepily. “You’re acting like I’m on my deathbed.”

“I’m sorry, did I not just fuck the life out of you?”

I giggle louder this time, swatting his chest.

He pulls on some boxer shorts from the dresser and slides into the other side of the bed. I roll to face him as he settles in next to me, taking in the contours of his face. God, I love his face so much.

“Shit, I need to set my alarm,” I groan.

“I got it.” He waves me back down as I go to sit up. “Is it in your jacket?”