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It’s the realization that Blair stopped feeling like Brynne’s shadow a long fucking time ago.

This isn’t projection anymore.

Isn’t guilt, or me trying to hold onto pieces of her sister through her.

This is Blair.

Mouthy.

Chaotic.

Funny when she doesn’t even mean to be.

Always pretending she’s fine while actively self-destructing in front of everybody.

The way she dances like she’s trying to outrun herself, and the way she pushes people just to see if they’ll stay.

And after what we did to her, the way she keeps looking at me like she expects me to disappear again.

I’m obsessed with her completely separate from Brynne now, and honestly?

That realization scares me more than Dante ever has.

Because it means this thing growing between the three, regardless of how messy and difficult it is, it isn't temporary anymore.

It’s real.

Dangerously fucking real.

Rain keeps hammering steadily against the windows while cigarette after cigarette burns down beside me, hours slipping past before Dagger finally shifts across the room and blinks awake sometime close to seven.

His eyes immediately flick toward the hallway.

Checking for her.

Always checking for her.

“She awake?”

I shake my head once.

“No.”

He rubs a hand slowly down his face before standing, exhaustion dragging through every movement.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he mutters roughly. “Gotta piss.”

He disappears down the hallway while I crush another cigarette out beside the balcony door.

A minute later the toilet flushes.

Cupboard doors shut harder than necessary.

Then he comes back out looking just as tired and irritated as he did when he passed out, dark hair a mess while he heads straight for the kitchen.

The fridge opens and old light spills across the apartment while he stares into it blankly for a second before grabbing a bottle of water.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit,” he says after taking a long drink. “Got some shit to handle. I’ll grab food while I’m out.”