Page 168 of Levi

The bravest man I have ever seen just traded his career for the truth. And his first words to me are to ask permission. He’s braced for me to be mad as if he did something wrong.

I reach over, get a fistful of his shirt, tug him closer, and kiss him hard and quick, both of us off-center over the console. Then I pull back just far enough to make him hear it.

“Better than okay,” I tell him, my hand on the back of his neck. “I loved it. You made me very happy tonight. Now, let’s go home.”

He nods, knowing which place I mean. What he doesn’t understand yet is that the word ‘home’ covers him too. It’s his now. I’m not handing it back. I’ll teach him that part.

At the apartment he pushes the hood off and rubs both hands down his face. I go to the sliding glass door and push it open. The warm night comes in off the lot. The tension in his shoulders finally lets go.

“I outed you, Dante,” he says. “To everybody. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I didn’t even ask you first, I just—”

I let out a laugh. It comes up out of me because he has it backwards.

“Levi. What are you saying? I’ve been out since I was a teenager. All of my family knows.” I take a step toward him. “I’ve never hidden who I am. You didn’t out me tonight. You let me claim you. You stood up in front of that crowd, and told the world you’re mine.” Another step. “That’s not a harm you did me. That’s everything I wanted. It was perfect.”

He shakes his head. He doesn’t get it.

“But why?” he says. “You could have anybody. I’ve watched you. You walk into a room and people turn their heads. Women, straight men, married people. You could have any man you wanted, no problem, somebody normal, somebody who isn’t—” He stops. “Why would you want the disaster? Why me?”

I can’t let that stand. I close the last of the distance and I take his face in both my hands.

“Let me tell you when my heart decided it was yours. The first day. I came back from the house after leaving you here. I walked in and found you asleep on the floor between my boxes of listing flyers and yard signs with that cashmere throw wrapped around your shoulders. Every door in the apartment thrown wide open. Including the front door.”

He’s gone rigid.

“I stood there and looked down at you while you were asleep. And my heart didn’t say he’s the one. You know what it said to me?” I wait until he meets my eyes. “It said, you need to make him yours as soon as possible, and you need to protect him from the world forever. And it’s been saying it every single day since. And I’ve been trying so hard to do that.”

He’s shaking his head, so I don’t let go. I hold his face and keep going. He needs every word, and I’m done rationing them.

“I don’t fall, Levi. Ask Benji. Ask my mother. My sisters. Ask anyone who’s ever known me. I have walked away from men who had everything, felt nothing for them, never once looked back. I didn’t know I had this much emotion in me until you showed up.” My thumbs move across his cheekbones. “I want you, Levi. Only you. You’re mine now and I’m keeping you. That’s settled.”

He searches my face, then he asks carefully, like he’s taking a chance. “Does that mean you’re mine too?” he asks. “Does it work for both of us?” A small furrow creases between his brows. “I don’t know how this all works. I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know if I’m doing it right. Or what to expect.”

His words gut me. A grown man, the most gifted person I have ever met, asking whether he’s even allowed to have me back. No one ever taught him love can run in both directions. Or anything about love at all.

“A hundred percent,” I tell him. “All the way. Both of us. I’m yours, Levi. That’s how it works, and you already did it right. You claim me back, you never stop, I do the same. We’re together and we belong to each other now. That’s it. It’s as easy as that.”

He reaches for me and I’m kissing him, and it’s different from every other time. There’s always been a clock, or a secret sitting in the room with us. Tonight there’s none of it. He’s with me, and he’s mine, for keeps. And I get to take my time with him.

I walk him back toward the bedroom with my mouth on his. The hoodie comes up and off between steps. At the bed I stop to stare. Lamplight on his skin, his breath coming hard, the want already plain on him.

“Lie down,” I tell him. “Let me take a good long look at you.”

He does and the sight of him stretched out and waiting nearly takes me off my feet. I get the rest of our clothes off and come down over him. For a while I do nothing but kiss him. His mouth, his jaw, down his chest, taking the time to fully appreciate what’s mine now. He’s already trembling under me, hands fisting in the sheets.

“We’re not in a hurry,” I tell him against his stomach. “No one is coming. No one is leaving. I’ve got all night, and so do you.”

Then I take his hard cock in my mouth, and the sound that comes out of him goes straight through me. I take him slow, hand and mouth both. I know what makes his breath catch now, what brings his hips up off the bed, and I use every bit of it. I draw it out until he’s begging.

He spent his life not being allowed to ask for anything. Now he asks me for everything, and I intend to spend my life giving it to him.

“Dante, please—”

“Hang on a sec, baby.”

I reach for the lube, and take my time with that too. I warm a generous amount between my fingers first so the chill won’t make him flinch. Then I settle between his spread thighs and press a soft kiss to the inside of his leg, right where the skin is thinnest and most sensitive.

“Look at me,” I tell him. “If anything feels like too much, you say stop and I stop. No questions. Understood? Same rule as always.”