Page 242 of The Mercy of Dawn

She wasn’t alright at all.

But Mikael was already gathering her up into his arms and carrying her out of the bathroom.

Cyril expected to see Runa, but she did not know why in the hells Ari was in her room now, or why the two of them were talking near the door. That other voice had a body and face now at least, even if his eyes went fucking wide as they snagged on Cyril.

“What’s Ari doing here?”

Cyril’s question was quiet as Mikael eased her back into bed, and her very bones sighed with relief at the lack of verticality. Her eyes slipped shut almost immediately.

“Well, it’s twofold,” Mikael said as he pulled the covers up over her. She wished he would just crawl into bed with her already, he looked like he needed sleep as much as she did. The mattress dipped as he sat beside her. “He was wondering how you were doing, and…”

His pause went on for far too long.

When Cyril willed her eyes back open, Mikael was looking over his shoulder at his mother and Ari. Runa was taking slow steps back towards the bed.

“And?” she asked.

“Ari and I have to go, Cyr.” Mikael’s attention turned back to her, and at the confusion that must have settled into her features, he added, “The families of the guards…they don’t know yet. We planned on leaving tomorrow morning, but there’s a storm coming in and we—”

Something hot and wet slid down Cyril’s cheeks, and Mikael froze.

“You have to go? How…” Cyril wiped at her face—tears. She was crying. The tightness in her chest hit her then, and the unevenness of her breathing. “How long?”

Mikael hesitated. His smile was tentative, rueful.

“Four or five days to get to everyone and back, I think. But my mother will be here with you, for anything you need.” He glanced to where Runa now stood at the foot of her bed. Cyril could barely see her through the tears that clouded her vision.

“You’ll be sick of me by the time he’s back, I promise.”

That did nothing to settle the unease that crept its way up Cyril’s spine.

The dreadful, looming reality that she was awake, and she was afraid, and Mikael was leaving her.

“Kaia and Gunner have been desperate to see you too, when you feel up for it.” Mikael’s fingers brushed her cheek as he tucked her hacked-off hair behind her ear. “But focus on getting enough rest, alright? You’ve been through hell.”

The panicking part of her mind was screaming at her to plead with him. To ask him to stay, to not leave her when she needed him. Just like everyone always did.

But Cyril could only nod.

“I…” he sighed, shaking his head.

She didn’t get to ask why he looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin before he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.”

Cyril hesitated before she nodded. “Okay.”

Mikael’s beautiful, glacial eyes were full of remorse as he leaned in once more to kiss her forehead.

Then he left her.

If he even bothered to look back before he slipped out of the door with Ari, Cyril didn’t know. She was too busy easing her pissed-off body onto its side.

Runa rounded the other side of Cyril’s bed and said nothing as she climbed up onto it and sat back against the headboard. She opened her arm in an invitation, and Cyril took it without a second thought, shifting over and settling her head onto the queen’s lap.

The tears came in full force then.

“I know how badly it hurts when you need them and they are bound by duty like that,” Runa finally said with a sort of gentleness that did nothing to help Cyril’s emotions running rampant, “but I promise you, it gets easier.”