Page 181 of The Mercy of Dawn

“I…” the queen started, her eyes wary and scanning Cyril’s face. “I think we should go see Wren in the infirmary and get you cleaned up. Then you and I, we can…” she sighed, “we can talk about what comes next, alright?”

What comes next.

Those three words ached.

Because there was no coming back from this, was there?

Dion finally crossed that invisible, finite line that he spent years toeing and pushing and taunting. How could she ever forgive him for that?

A couple of tears slid down her cheek as that weight took its heavy seat in her chest.

She shook her head.

“No…?”

Cyril’s voice wavered as she said, “I… I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Of course.” Runa’s face softened, and she rubbed Cyril’s arm. “Do you want to go to see Wren, or…?”

Cyril shook her head again.

“I need some air,” she said as she pushed herself up on wholly unsteady legs. If it wasn’t for the wall at her back, getting up on her own would have been out of the question.

Runa watched her warily.

“You’ll come find me when you’re ready?” she asked, her voice full of doubt that was entirely justified.

Cyril gave the queen a half-hearted nod before she wandered out into the hall.

Chapter 44

By the time Cyril cleared the palace and made it outside, her cheek stung something fierce every time she dabbed at the weeping wound with her sleeve.

Failed attempts to rationalize what had just happened swam around in her head and left her with little room to think about anything else. She hadn’t realized her feet carried her to the barracks until she nearly walked right into the doors.

Instinct had her pulling one open and taking a few cautious steps inside.

The usual dozen or so guards were sitting around enjoying their drinks, with a handful of women from the city drifting around between them. As she looked and looked, the realization of what she may unwittingly find made it hard to breathe.

She went to go push back out the doors and—

“Cyril!”

She turned back around slowly.

Silas, a lanky man with blonde hair and soft brown eyes, waved at her as he wove through tables and came to a stop in front of her.

“Is Mikael here?” Cyril asked quietly, not entirely sure she wanted the answer even as she kept scanning faces. That would be the perfect fucking end to this, seeing him tangled up with a damn courtesan.

“He’s in his office. I can walk back with you if you’d like?”

Cyril nodded and Silas gave her a curious look, head tipped and brows pinched.

“Uh, Cyril, your uh…” He gestured to his cheek.

She dabbed at her face with her sleeve, the cuff already spotted with blood.

“I know.”