Page 178 of The Mercy of Dawn

Cyril didn’t even bother making it to the glen before she led Attie off the path. She tied her lead to a low-hanging branch and found a tree to slump down behind.

Under the overcast sky, Cyril cried for hours.

And in those hours of sitting there on her own, under leaves rustling in the humid summer air, Cyril made a decision.

She was done.

Done with Reykr and Helia.

Done with Dion and the Kallans.

Done with the prince and the rogues.

Hells, she was done with Carinae.

There was nothing left for her here anymore, no purpose or calling or people. Nothing to tie her to this place.

So in the morning, before the palace truly came to life, she would leave. She would finally make good on those foiled plans from all those weeks ago in Brynnhold.

That night, she’d bathe and pack, and get her things in order.

She’d write a note for Runa too.

A braver woman would have told the queen face to face, but Cyril was weak. She was broken and tired and didn’t have it in her to talk to anyone anymore.

Well, no one except for Attie.

Cyril hauled herself off the ground and over to where she tethered her equine companion. The singular being who had truly been with her through everything, who never faltered or judged, or cared about anything.

She choked on a sob the moment the damn horse looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” Cyril whispered.

She wrapped her arms around Attie’s neck, nestling her face into her soft, black mane. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“They’ll take good care of you here when I’m gone, I promise. I’ll ask Runa and Boone to make sure someone takes you out and shares an apple with you, alright? You…”

Cyril had to stop to breathe.

“Thank you, sweet girl. For everything.”

Darkness had long since settled when Cyril finally pulled herself together for long enough to make it back to the stables.

She didn’t care that she’d assuredly missed dinner. All she wanted to do was go to her room and shut out the world now. As much as it fucking killed her to leave Attie, she had to do it.

The stable hand that met her at the gate to take Attie’s lead didn’t say a single word after she looked at Cyril. She just gave her a soft smile and nod when she thanked her. Cyril was grateful for that.

The hinges of the main stable door squealed as she pushed it open and—

“Oh! Lady Cyril, before you go.”

Against her better judgment, Cyril turned around. The stable master was jogging down the main aisle.

“Your uncle came by a while ago, looking for you. We told him you were gone for a ride but, uh…” Boone rubbed the back of his neck. “He was quite adamant that we send you to him after, said he’d been down in the royal offices.”

A reminder that, yet again, things could continue to get worse.

“Thank you.” Cyril nodded. She hesitated before she added, “Boone? If I have to go somewhere else, possibly for a long time, will you all take care of her?”