Page 98 of A Misguided Devotion

“Even if Lord Harting withholds his consent? I won’t make your sisters choose between helping me and obeying their father. It might cause a rift in your family. I will stay here with Laura until he gives his permission.”

He released her hands and let them fall, defeated. “What if he doesn’t?”

“If you feel the same way in six months…”

“You think I’ll change my mind.”

Kitty could hear the hurt in his voice, but he wasn’t seeing the bigger picture. “I am afraid that if you cannot win your family over, they will change your mind.”

“You’re wrong, Kitty,” he said, squeezing her shoulder with his right hand, “but whether or not you believe me, please let my sisters take care of you. I fear for you. We suspect Blake is working with the smugglers, and I don’t like to think of you living in this house with him. Even Mr Barrington is nervous. When I mentioned to him that Mr Jenkin would soon be able to identify who was responsible for his accident, he told me in no uncertain terms not to get involved, for my own safety.”

“There can be no reason for the smugglers to hurt me.”

His brow lowered. “I hate leaving you here.”

How she longed to reach up and run her fingers through his ruffled hair to soothe his frustration, but such an intimacy might cause her resolve to waver. She had to be brave and stay here. For his sake. To protect his family. “It is for the best.”

William wiped a tear from her cheek and leaned in toward her. She held her breath. Was he going to kiss her? His mouth hovered mere inches from her own. At the last moment, he lifted his head and pressed his lips against her forehead instead. How disappointing!

“I won’t make you promises I have no power to keep.”

Was that why he wouldn’t kiss her? He wasn’t ready to commit himself, despite all he’d implied? “Then I will make you no promises either.”

His mouth hardened. “You still don’t believe I’ll remain faithful, but I will. When I’ve secured my father’s consent, I’ll come back for you, Kitty. God bless you and keep you safe.”

“God bless you too.”

As William turned and strode up the garden, Kitty’s hand rose to the spot he had kissed. Silent tears fell down her cheeks. Letting him leave without her was so much harder than she’d let on.

Chapter 28

Kitty watched William walk up the garden until he disappeared into the house. Out of sight and out of her life. She wiped her eyes and sniffed hard. Why was it always her lot to be left behind? Her brother had gone to war, her grandfather had died, and now William had departed.

Catherine Bruce, don’t you dare pity yourself. You weren’t left behind. You chose to stay because you are a coward and you were too scared to fight for him in case you lost.

Kitty chewed on her bottom lip. Why was that inner voice always right? She’d claimed she was being brave for the sake of his family, but in reality, she was too fearful of being hurt to risk going with him.

Protecting herself from disappointment had turned her into a coward. She might doubt his feelings were strong enough to survive his family’s disapproval, but what if they were? Was she dismissing any chance of a future with him because she was too afraid to hope?

Why hadn’t she encouraged him to return? She needed to promise she would be waiting when he came back for her. She raced up the garden as fast as she could.

In her eagerness to reach William before he left, Kitty failed to see where she was going and collided with Hugh in the entrance hall.

“My dear Catherine, you look quite ill. Please sit down.”

She glanced at the front door, which stood ajar, and stepped toward it. Hugh was right there beside her, hooking his arm through hers as she hovered on the threshold.

The travelling chariot was waiting outside the house. William was facing away from her. He was climbing inside. Another moment, and he would be gone.

She tried to pull free to go after him, but the strength of Hugh’s arm prevented her. As the horses began to move, William glanced back through the carriage window.

Kitty waved her hand frantically, trying to make him stop, but the vehicle kept going. He’d left—and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t run after him and promise to wait for him. She was trapped.

“Ah, so you are sorry to see our honoured guest depart. I suspected your heart was not untouched, but you are wise to let him go. I would hate to witness you besmirch your reputation by entering a clandestine relationship with him.”

Kitty bristled. As if William… As if she…

Hugh reached out and pinched her chin. “You are innocent in the ways of the world, child. You dream of a happy ending, but he will never marry you. The Duchess of Wessex would disown him for contracting such a misalliance.” It was no more than she had feared, but Hugh was wrong about William. He would not be cowed by his grandmother’s threats.