Page 79 of A Misguided Devotion

He let out a wry bark of laughter at his own stupidity. If he lost the portrait, he could paint another, but if he married Miss Barrington, he couldn’t marry Kitty. All at once, he knew that was the most important thing in the world.

That was why a future with Miss Barrington seemed so barren—because she wasn’t Kitty. Wonderful, irritating Kitty. He would rather be scolded by her than praised by any other woman. When he had fallen in love with her, he couldn’t say, but his heart ached with the conviction, and his eyes grew wet. Because it was too late.

A small voice inside him nudged him to pray. What had he got to lose? He needed the help of one far bigger than Anthony to get him out of the mess he was in. He prayed to the God he’d been ignoring for months and asked him to come to his rescue.

Chapter 23

After their ride, Laura took to her bed, afflicted by another headache, and she did not reappear that evening. Kitty was not surprised. Her friend had seemed out of sorts all afternoon. Was Laura being forced into a match with William against her will? Did that explain the contradiction in her behaviour—alternating between flirting and trying to avoid him?

Kitty withdrew to the drawing room alone after dinner, leaving the gentlemen at the table. She busied herself with her embroidery, hoping for a chance of conversation with William when they joined her. Perhaps even another starlit walk. It wasn’t wise to hope, but she could not help herself. Though she would ultimately face the rejection she normally guarded against, she craved every moment of his company. But the evening brought only disappointment. Hugh kept William at his wine for so long that Kitty gave up and went to bed.

Laura failed to come down to breakfast the next day and stayed in her room all morning. As the afternoon progressed, and she still did not appear, Kitty feared her friend was truly unwell. Was it a matter of the heart which had brought on Laura’s headache? If she was so averse to the match with William that it was making her ill, dare Kitty hope she could be persuaded to give him up?

She might be wrong, but she needed to find out. Even if she was right, her persuasion might fail, but she had to try. For William’s sake. And for her own—but she refused to admit that even to herself.

Kitty went up to Laura’s bedchamber, and Sutton responded to her knock.

“May I have a word with Miss Barrington, please?”

Weeping emanated from inside the room. “Let her in,” said Laura between sobs.

Her friend was curled up in her bed, hugging her arms to her chest.

Kitty sat down beside her. “Whatever is the matter?”

“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

She reached out a hand and stroked her hair. “I’m sure it can be resolved.”

“No, it can’t. He doesn’t love me.”

“Who doesn’t love you?”

Laura stared down at the bedcover, silent apart from the occasional sniff.

Her friend was going to leave her guessing, was she? It was not hard to work out. She could only mean one of two men, and Mr Jenkin was so obviously in love with her that she must be talking about William. But why was she so upset about it? Unless she had rejected the preventive officer only to discover that the Viscount didn’t care for her. If that were the case, it should be easier to persuade her to give him up than Kitty had feared.

“Then don’t marry him.”

Laura sniffed hard. “It’s too late for that.”

“No, it’s not. Tell your father how you feel.”

“I can’t! I’m afraid of him. He’s made no secret of what he wants.”

Kitty could not blame her for not wanting to face Hugh’s wrath at having his plans overset. “Then share your feelings with the man himself. If he is as honourable as I believe him to be, you may trust him to do what’s right. If you don’t follow your heart, you will lament your decision for the rest of your life.”

Her friend sat up in bed and wiped her eyes. “You’re right. I will speak to him. Tell him how much I love him and trust that I am mistaken about his feelings.”

All the air fled from Kitty’s lungs, leaving her gasping for breath. If she had not heard Laura say she loved William, she would not have believed it. All hope that her friend would give him up vanished. She would not try to persuade her otherwise. If Laura loved him that much, he would learn to love her back.

Oblivious to the pain her words had caused, Laura was already out of bed. Kitty could not bear to look at her.

“I must dress. Speak to him. Alone. Tell him I’ll wait at the top of the path that leads down to the beach. He will come, won’t he?”

“He’ll come.” Kitty would make sure of it. “Share how you feel, and I’m certain everything will work out just fine.”

For them—but not for her.