Page 81 of A Single Obsession

Beau did not stop trying to apologise. Over the next few days, he repeatedly sought to be alone with Eliza, but every time, he was thwarted. If he asked her for a ride, she invited Anthony to join them. If he talked to her in the drawing room, she drew his sister or mother into the conversation.

He lost hope she would ever relent. She was not unpleasant to him, nor disrespectful, but the friendship they had shared was gone. He had killed it—and he missed it so much that it hurt.

What irked him more was that Eliza seemed to have plenty of smiles for Anthony.

Beau had to face the fact that she had changed her mind and might regret her decision to marry him. He determined to force a frank conversation with her, even if it meant the end to all his hopes.

“Would you take a walk with me in the rose garden?” he asked Eliza as they finished breakfast on the third day.

“I believe my aunt wanted me to—”

“Nonsense,” Lady Harting said, interrupting Eliza’s excuse. “What kind of mother would I be to make you stay inside on such a beautiful day? Run along now and fetch your bonnet. Don’t keep Beaumont waiting.”

Beau cringed at his mother’s peremptory manner. What sort of mother was she? The sort who was determined to have her own way. But as it produced the result he wanted, on this occasion, he could not complain.

“Very well,” Eliza said, rising from the table to do as she was bid.

Beau waited for her at the foot of the stairs and a few minutes later she reappeared, wearing a chip bonnet decorated with a profusion of ribbons. It framed her face beautifully and for a moment he forgot she was hardly speaking to him, and was tempted to steal a kiss.

With this thought in mind, he moved toward her, only to be brought up short when he saw her forbidding expression. Chastising himself for his foolishness, he abruptly offered her his arm, as if this had been his intent all along.

They walked in silence down the garden path. Now that he had her alone, he was not sure how to start.

“Eliza, I must apologise for losing my temper with you. I was shocked—afraid that I wouldn’t be able to save you. But I should not have shouted at you like that.”

A flicker of something passed over her face, but then was gone.

“My behaviour was unpardonable,” she said. “It is I who should beg your forgiveness for putting both of us at risk.”

Her words took Beau by surprise, but the colourless tone of her voice concerned him. “There is nothing to forgive. You were angry with me, and I have no defence. But I have changed. However this started, I do care for you now.”

Eliza gave him a weak smile. “That is kind of you to say so.”

Kind? She thought he was being kind to tell her he cared for her?

“It’s not like that,” he said, walking away from her in frustration. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to tell you. I love you.”

There. He had told her—but the reaction was not what he hoped.

“Please don’t say that. I expect your mother told you those were the words I wanted to hear, but I would rather you didn’t pretend.”

“But I’m not pretending.”

Eliza peered deeply into his eyes. “If they were true, you would have said them before. You’re only saying them because you were told to.”

“But I’m not!”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you.”

Beau’s heart sank. Eliza had believed him before—believed in him. And now he had thrown it all away.

He gulped hard. “Do you want to break off our engagement?” he asked, dreading her answer.

“Cry off? How would that save your horses?”

“I won’t hold you to it if you’ve changed your mind.”

“I have not.”