Page 107 of A Single Obsession

Georgiana’s words hung in the air. Would she?

“He asked me to pass on his apologies for reacting so passionately to what you said at Almack’s.”

“Oh.”

“Is that all you can say? I thought you loved him, but do you? True love keeps no record of wrongs, and yet you won’t forgive him for hurting you. Your faith in him has dwindled because of assumptions you’ve made about his behaviour, and you’ve refused to let him defend himself. What more can he do? You’re destroying your own happiness by your stubbornness. When are you going to talk to him and give him the opportunity to put things right?”

Eliza examined her feelings. Was she still angry, or had she forgiven him already? Part of her wanted to pardon his behaviour, but the rest of her was afraid—afraid that if she forgave him, she was laying her heart open to be broken all over again.

“Would it make any difference if you knew it was your last chance?”

Eliza twisted round to look her sister in the eye. What did Georgiana know? She felt her pulse quicken. “What do you mean?”

“Life is uncertain. How would you feel, letting him leave, unforgiven, if you never saw him again? You’ll probably have another opportunity, but what if you didn’t? None of us knows when we say goodbye to someone if we’ll ever see them again on this earth. Unforgiveness is like an insatiable parasite, feeding on all that is good. Don’t allow it to consume your love until there’s nothing left.”

Eliza felt a growing pain deep inside. Georgiana was right. She should have forgiven Beau.

“Where is he going? The next races at Newmarket are not for another fortnight.”

“To Beddington, to Langcroft Park. He’s taking possession of his estate and doesn’t know when he’ll return.”

Eliza dropped onto the sofa. The flicker of hope his visit had occasioned fluttered and died. She’d missed her chance. He’d gone.

She jumped up again, stifling a sob, and ran back to her bedroom. After punching her pillow until her strength ran out, she collapsed on her bed in silent agony, hugging her arms to her chest, overcome by grief.

She was a fool to have let him go.

Chapter 47

Beau refused to dwell on his disappointment at not seeing Eliza before he left town. Perhaps it was better this way. He would take control of his estate and prove he was not a puppet whose strings were being pulled by his mother. Then, maybe, she would believe his words of love.

When he arrived at Langcroft Park, his housekeeper, Mrs Allett, welcomed him as if he were the prodigal son come home. The woman was so overcome with emotion he feared for a moment she was going to take him in her arms and hug him.

“You look that like your father,” she said, shaking her head from side to side in disbelief. “I can hardly credit you’re not the Viscount himself. Except, of course, you are the Viscount now, my lord. I can speak for all your staff when I say we are mighty glad to have a Beaumont in charge again.”

Beau thanked her, touched by her sincerity and grateful for her loyalty, though he had done nothing to earn it. That would make his task much easier.

Mrs Allett showed him into the breakfast parlour and bustled away to find refreshments. Beau examined the bright room, which seemed in good decorative order. He was drawn to the large windows along one side which overlooked the gardens.

He was still taking in the view when a gentleman interrupted him.

“My lord?”

The man was, he judged, in his mid-thirties and his face was creased with concern, as if he expected a reprimand. Beau hazarded a guess that this was his estate manager, whom he assumed Mrs Allett had summoned.

“Mr Harris?” he said, extending his arm.

The gentleman’s face relaxed as he shook Beau’s outstretched hand. “Forgive me, my lord, for not being here to greet your arrival. I did not realise—”

“How could you when I sent no word? I didn’t decide to come until yesterday.” He paused. Perhaps it was best to be frank. “Mr Harris, this is my house, my land, but I’m unfamiliar with my property and lack the experience to manage it. I am a stranger here, and put myself in your hands. Can you teach me what I need to know?”

The man’s face lit up. As he talked, his enthusiasm for the task was palpable. He paused when Mrs Allett came in with refreshments, and she smiled at them both like a fond mother.

The tankard of ale was most welcome. Beau had not been prepared for his steward to launch right in, and his head swam with all the information being relayed to him.

The housekeeper must have observed the glazed expression in his eyes. “Might I suggest you take his lordship for a tour around the grounds before dinner? I’m sure he would appreciate a chance to stretch his legs after being cooped up in a chaise on his journey from town.”

Mr Harris was quick to seize the suggestion, and Beau sent Mrs Allett a grateful smile as she left the room. It was interesting to see how much respect his estate manager and his housekeeper had for each other. It said a lot about the characters of his two most important members of staff.