Page 163 of The Last Guardian
“You’re right, it should. But for some of us, love is inaccessible. For some of us, the only way to express it is through small gestures and some shared moments. Even if it is just for a single day or one hour.”
I chose not to respond, as I disagreed with her perspective on this matter.
Love was an unavoidable force, not a secret to be kept from the world. It transcended social status, uniting kings and peasants alike.
Mother breathed, “Did you express your feelings then?” But she already knew the answer.
I shook my head.
“Why not?” Mother asked.
I gazed up at the stars, glowing through the deepest night.
“I care for him deeply. But I don’t…” I struggled to find the right words. I continued, “I think of love as a light that brightens your world, like stars in a dark sky. For me, it’s the feeling of entering a room and seeing and feeling nothing but that person. But it doesn’t feel like that with Nevan.” I sighed once more. “I hope that I will never feel that way with anyone in truth, because, if I can’t live this love, if I can’t express it, it isn’t worth it.”
“What a cynical way to think for your age!” she scolded.
“Not at all. It’s just a precaution. I have enough people I love deeply in my life.”
“I think that one day, you might change your mind, because love isn’t simple. It’s complicated, and it makes you reconsider your perspective on life.”
I knew she wasn’t talking about my father because they’d never shared any sweet emotion, so I asked, “Have you loved someone that much before?”
“Yes.” She nodded with a tender smile.
“And now, after all these years without this person, now that you have your children, a life of your own, don’t you think it was all for nothing?”
Her brown eyes shone in the moonlight. “It was worth every tear, every farewell, every ounce of pain. I would not exchange that love for the world. It will end with him and me, as it should.”
I chuckled at her wide-eyed optimism, as if her dreams could come true if we just wished on the right stars. I believed her. That kind of love could exist, capable of shattering every corner of the world if we were willing to risk our hearts.
But not for me.
At this moment, my only desire was to hold her tightly, nestling against her as sleep overtook me. Tomorrow, we would attend a diplomatic meeting in the eastern county as the Queen and Princess of Vallen. We would wear the mask of royalty in the presence of others.
But not tonight.
Tonight, it was simply a mother holding her child, listening to the river’s tune wafting in the breeze, as they contemplated their dreams of reaching for the stars.
Just the two of us, suspending time for a moment.
My mind spun once more as I found myself in the realm of my thoughts, reaching my Anchor, leaving behind this moment with my mother that I could have savored forever.
My feet grounded to the soil as my eyes lifted to face the lake, where the mountains reached for the sky. Warm lanterns glowed around me, floating in the air as I turned to approach the tiny cottage.
My fingers wiped my damp cheeks, wet with the tears that memory brought back. It was the one I clung to every time I longed for her—the night before her death.
The lightness, the hope I felt around her that night—each time we were together. The happiness and hope I always felt with her.
The night we gazed at the stars together—and now, each time I looked at the stars—I had the feeling that she was looking at them too.
My feet moved by themselves, in a need to discover more about this place. My peaceful place. With the moonlight casting a path before me, I looked around, taking in the vastness of my Anchor: my own spirit.
My mind had created a world all of its own, a place of reflection, a place where my soul could rest, regain energy, and grow.
As I wandered through the hills and the small forest, following the power, I let myself get lost, trying to understand what the little bridge I had just crossed, or even the small bench on the bank, meant in this place.
Something tickled beneath my skin, urging me to—
