Page 37 of The Librarian’s Familiar

Was that because of the bond, or his own desire to be with someone who knew his name and what he was? With Charlie, he didn’t need to hide.

“It’s probably safer if you don’t want to risk it becoming permanent…though it may not, I have no idea.” He raked his teeth over his lower lip.

“You knew it was a risk and said nothing.” The risk hadn’t stopped him either.

“So did you, and you weren’t concerned.”

“It’s happened to you before…do you know how many people spend their entire lives looking for their fated mate?”

Charlie nodded. “I know. The first time it happened was the first time I slept with a shifter. I was so freaked out. I never got his name. He never realized, probably because we’d both been drinking, maybe he didn’t even realize I was a witch. The next day, I felt it unravel. I figured that was my one shot. Gone. Because the bond can fade sometimes, especially if it’s only been a kiss and neither wants it.”

“But it depends on the magics.” He did up his jeans and pulled on his shirt. At least if he left, he could think things through.

“Exactly.”

“And the second time?”

“I was stunned, and so was he. I told him I was a bond breaker, and that it would be gone within a day. He stayed until it was done and didn’t have very many nice things to say about me.” He glanced away.

“But you kept sleeping with shifters.”

“It’s not like I was trying to collect one of every kind. They’re drawn to me, and I’m drawn to them, and I don’t understand why.”

“But nothing happened with Sinclair?” Or had Sinclair been his fated mate for a few hours?

“No. There doesn’t appear to be any reason behind it.” Charlie shrugged. “I don’t know what else to say.”

There wasn’t anything else to say. “I wanted to stay.”

“I’m not kicking you out, but it comes with strings, and I don’t know where they lead.”

And he wasn’t in a position to be making those kinds of decisions. He had no idea what he wanted the rest of his life to look like. Or what he wanted to do, or where he wanted to spend it. How could he tie another person to his own indecision?

Or worse, go along with whatever the other person said simply because he didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t thinking with his brain when he looked at Charlie, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and press him into the mattress.

He was half-hard just looking at him. The way he leaned against the headboard, blanket pulled over his lap as if August hadn’t already seen everything. He traced over the empty buttonhole on his shirt, using it to remind himself why he should leave.

“I’m not ready to be led anywhere.”

“I get it. It’s fine.” It clearly wasn’t from the way Charlie wouldn’t look at him. Sure, he was used to people reacting negatively to his magic, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, or that he didn’t want them to do better.

He was tempted to stay, to see what would happen. “You promised me more later.”

“Yeah. But that was before you knew, and I thought I’d come up with a reason or a plan, or something.” He sighed. “Or maybe I’d have ended up telling the truth in the morning before we did anything.”

“I’m not sure that would’ve been any better.”

“Probably not. Just go. Tomorrow this won’t matter, and we can both move on.” Charlie seemed resigned to the fact that’s how this was going to play out, and that he didn’t get the chance to have a fated mate.

“Is that what you want?”

“No, but I can’t ask you to stay and see what happens because while I’m many things, I am not the kind of witch who traps a shifter.”

August considered him for several seconds. He didn’t feel trapped. “Your magic might unravel the bond no matter how many times we make it.”

Did that make them fated mates or something else?

“Yeah, or it may not be remade a second time. Those who let it fade, can’t remake it. Or it might become permanent. Or there might be some other horrible consequence that neither of us can imagine.” Charlie lifted his gaze, catching his. “It’s safer for you to leave than it is for you to stay.”