Page 25 of The Librarian’s Familiar

Harvey and Keaton were silent. August glanced at one and then the other.

Harvey stared back at him. “Oh…sorry…was that the whole announcement? I thought you were going to say something like, and I’m married, and I have a secret family that you guys have never met.”

“You’re not married, and you don’t have a secret family, right?” Keaton asked a little too hopefully. “Because I don’t want to be explaining that to Mom.”

“I’m not even dating anyone. Jesus, you two are useless.” He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. Why was he doing this? Every time he blinked, he saw Charlie, grinning as he drank his coffee and not caring what anyone thought. “You don’t get it.”

“Sports are homophobic. You’ve been hiding in a smelly closet filled with jock straps and sweaty gear. Now you’re no longer playing, you want us to be your wingmen.” Harvey stood and slung his arm around August’s shoulder. “We’re honored by the way. Let’s have a drink and make a short list of eligible men in town.”

August shrugged him off. “I don’t need a list.”

Keaton narrowed his eyes. “You have someone in mind.”

August stared at Keaton. Why had he thought telling his brothers was a good idea? Because his mother would jump straight to dating, and his father would be concerned that somebody had been mean to him. His brothers were no better, and it didn’t help that he didn’t know what he expected from them…

“I don’t have anyone in mind.” Liar. “I needed to tell someone, so it wasn’t such a big secret.”

“Is it still a secret?” Keaton frowned up at him, still sitting on the ground with his legs outstretched, completely unbothered that his brother was having a midlife crisis of some kind.

“Yes…no… maybe?” He sighed. “I’m not ready to run through town in a rainbow jockstrap.”

Harvey pulled a face. “I’ve seen you naked enough to know that no one wants to see that.”

August snorted. Charlie would. Though maybe not the running through town part. “Thanks.”

“So does this mean… What about…” Harvey frowned. “You had girlfriends.”

“Yes, I’ve dated women; I even slept with a couple. It was fine, but not my thing. And yes, I’ve slept with men, and I enjoyed it.”

“So you might be bi?” Keaton tilted his head.

August shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m not attracted to women, so no.”

“Okay. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Because I was terrified that it would get out. The fear has been stalking me since I was old enough to be thinking about sex. I nearly quit playing.” His grandfather had reminded him that he was a ferocious predator and no one could take him down unless he allowed it. So he needed to lace his skates, pull his shit together, and get on with it. His grandfather always knew exactly what to say and when to say it.

His parents would’ve told him if it was too hard to come home. And maybe they would’ve been right as well. But he loved playing, and he would have regretted walking away for the rest of his life.

“I didn’t know you thought about quitting,” Harvey said. “I guess the hardest thing for you wasn’t the training.”

August nodded. He was a shifter; the physical part of the job was fine. Keeping secrets was the hard part. “Anyway… I don’t know what to do now.”

“It seems pretty obvious that you should go on a date and start not hiding, unless you’re still worried about people finding out after the fact?” Harvey frowned like he wasn’t sure he fully understood the problem. How he’d managed to get married, and stay married, August had no idea.

But then August didn’t fully understand what his problem was, either. It should be easy to be himself. “I don’t know. And I don’t know how to do that stuff because I never did and now I’m thirty-five, partially blind in one eye, and with no future plans. I’m a real catch.”

Charlie hadn’t mentioned any of that. His only concern was that August had never stepped out of the closet and into the spotlight.

“Back up a bit. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, Augie,” Keaton said, using his childhood nickname. “Let me phrase it in a way you might understand. Don’t think about the play-offs, focus on one game at a time.”

August scowled at his brother. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to interpret that.”

“There’s a big difference between getting out there and dating and actually trying to find someone to settle down with,” Keaton said.

“No shit.” That was the best his brother could come up with?

“Well, if you can’t do the former, you’ll have no success with the latter,” Keaton continued.