Page 18 of The Mistress of Ashmore Castle

‘No?’ he repeated, with a wry lift of the eyebrow.

She blushed. ‘How could you? You – you took advantage of me!’

‘Nina, my dear, your lips say “no” now, but a moment ago they spoke a different message.’

‘It’s wrong. You know it’s wrong.’

‘But you want to.’

She began to say no, but stopped, then shook her head, staring at the floor. She knew she should flounce away from him, but she felt confused and unhappy.

Sensing it, he spoke gently. ‘I’m what you need, Nina. And I can give it to you safely. It would be our secret. No-one would ever know. You cannot believe I would ever allow harm to come to you. In the time I’ve known you, you have become very dear to me. If you weren’t married, I would—’

She looked up sharply, and he stopped. ‘But I am married,’ she said.

He took her hands. ‘When an old man marries a beautiful young girl, what does he expect?’

She pulled her hands away. ‘Don’t say that! You don’t know him. He’s kind, and good, and—’

‘Does he make your heart race? Does he fill your thoughts? Does he haunt your dreams? Does he make you feel like this?’ He raised his hand and cupped her cheek, then trailed his fingers softly over her lips.

She caught his hand, pushed it back against his chest. ‘Stop it,’ she said. Her body might react to him, but she had a defence he did not know about. There had been someone who made her heart race. He had filled her thoughts and, despite anything she could do, he still haunted her dreams. She tried to sound wryly matter-of-fact. ‘You’re just amusing yourself. You know you don’t really love me.’

‘But I could,’ he said seriously. ‘I so easily could. And I hate to see you wasted, Nina. You should be loved and caressed and made to sing like a happy bird. Your life should bloom with happiness and satisfaction. You should walk about with a little secret smile on your lips, remembering the night just past and looking forward to the night to come. Let me do that for you. Let me make you happy.’

‘We must go down,’ she said. ‘We’ll be missed.’

‘Think about it,’ he said. ‘Just consider it. I will wait for you.’

She was angry now at his lack of repentance. ‘What would Bobby say if she heard you?’

‘She would be in full agreement,’ he said.

‘Then she would be as wrong as you.’ She turned away.

He fell in beside her, still unshaken. ‘Just remember I am here whenever you want me. And take my arm on the stairs. It would be held much against me if you were to stumble.’

She took his arm – it was difficult to descend a staircase in a long gown – but said, ‘No more of this, please. You must stop.’

‘Consider me stopped,’ he said; but added quietly, ‘For now.’

And at the bottom of the staircase, she almost walked into Decius Blake. Her husband’s secretary and right hand. She met his eyes with a startled look, and blushed deeply.

He regarded her with an expression so neutral it was as good as a rebuke. ‘Mrs Cowling,’ he said.

She was angry with herself for blushing; she felt dishevelled, though she knew she was not. One kiss, and that not even wanted by her! But what must Decius be thinking, seeing her come down the stairs with Adam when she should have been in the supper room?

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, pulling her hand away from Adam’s arm.

Adam responded to Decius’s glance with a slight nod, but he said nothing.

‘Mr Cowling asked me to come back. He felt guilty about your having to come to the ball alone. He thought that if I could get here in time, I could at least take you in to supper, and look after you for the rest of the ball.’

‘Mrs Cowling has had no shortage of partners so far,’ Adam said. ‘I’m sure she will not need to fall back on your services after supper.’

Decius did not look at him. ‘And I’ll escort you home afterwards,’ he went on, as though there had been no interruption.

‘You are – he is very kind,’ Nina faltered.