Page 142 of The Secrets of Ashmore Castle

‘You’re my chaperone,’ Nina pointed out. ‘Married woman of great respectability.’

‘I suppose I am. It’s hard to believe it’s real, sometimes. Being with you, I feel like a schoolgirl again.’

‘We’re neither of us that any more,’ Nina said, with a touch of sadness. ‘Are you getting on better with your mother-in-law?’

‘Not sure. I know she doesn’t like me, but I think she’s learning to ignore me – as long as I don’t try to change things too much. But Grandmère intervened about making the door through into Giles’s dressing-room. Oh, and Giles has bought me a horse!’

She described Apollo, and the rides she had taken with her young sisters-in-law, the repairs Giles had ordered to various roads and tracks on the estate and how much the work was needed. Nina listened, injected a word here and there to keep her going. She reflected that, for all the wonderful things that were happening, Kitty’s loquacity suggested she didn’t have anyone to talk to. She imagined Giles always busy, Lady Stainton cold and distant, the girls always with their heads together, sufficient unto each other. She felt sorry for her, for all her new wealth. And yet Kitty had married the man she loved – and from the way she spoke about Giles, she still idolised him. So what was there to pity?

Following her thoughts for a moment, she forgot to prompt Kitty, who wound down, and looked at her with concern. ‘I’m still talking about me – and you’re encouraging me,’ she said, with unusual percipience. ‘Is something wrong? Don’t tell me your engagement is off – is that why you don’t want to talk about it? Is your heart broken?’

‘No, no,’ Nina said hastily. ‘I’m still getting married. I wanted to hear all your news, that’s all.’

‘But yours is so much more important,’ Kitty said, not quite reassured. ‘You haven’t even told me his name. Is it anyone I know? Where did you meet him? How did he propose? Tell me everything! When is the wedding to be?’

So there was nothing for it but to tell. ‘You met him once, at the same time as me,’ she said. ‘At Dene Park. I danced with him. He came with the King’s party.’

Kitty frowned in recollection. ‘But they were all quite old, weren’t they, the King’s friends? I don’t remember anyone you danced with. Oh – except wasn’t there a funny old man who talked to you about shoes?’

‘He’s not old, and he’s not funny. He does make me laugh sometimes, but on purpose. He likes to see me laugh.’

‘Nina!’

‘Don’t look like that, Kitty, or I shall be sorry I told you at all. His name is Joseph Cowling and he loves me dearly. He will be a good husband to me, and make me comfortable.’

‘But you can’t love him,’ Kitty said falteringly. And then, ‘Can you?’

‘Don’t you remember when we were at school, and you talked about falling in love? And I always said I never would?’

‘I didn’t really believe you.’

‘It’s not important to me the way it always was to you,’ Nina said, which was not true, of course, not now. But she couldn’t speak about love to Kitty, who had married the one man … ‘And, remember, I have no fortune. My best chance of happiness is to marry a rich man – and Mr Cowling is very rich.’

‘I thought you were going to be a teacher.’

‘I was, but I’ve discovered I really dislike that idea. Mr Cowling is a nice man and will give me anything I like.’

Kitty pondered that. It would be good to think of Nina being able to have all the new clothes she wanted: she remembered the sartorial difficulties of her come-out. And – and books, she supposed. Lots of books. But Kitty thought of her passionate nights with Giles, and how dreadful it would be to be in bed with a man you didn’t love. To do those things with an old man and without the fire in the belly that made it all so easy and exciting …

But the tabu against married women talking about those things to unmarried women had shut down her tongue. It was awful. Nina probably thought being married was just sitting across the breakfast table from each other. She would be quite unprepared for what would happen. But Kitty couldn’t tell her. She just – couldn’t.

Nina smiled. ‘Don’t worry, Kitty. I’ve thought about it very carefully, and I’m sure it’s the best thing for me.’

Kitty sought for something positive to say. ‘If he’s really rich, you could have a horse. You’ve always wanted a horse.’

Nina laughed. ‘Yes, and he has a house in Market Harborough, right in the Fernie country, so perhaps I shall be able to hunt. Will you be hunting this year?’

‘I may do. But I need time to get used to Apollo and learn the country. I might just go to a meet or two. But, Nina,’ Kitty refused this time to be distracted, ‘you’re really, really sure?’

‘Really, really. Be happy for me, Kitty dear.’

‘Well, then, I am. When will the wedding be?’

‘The sixth of December.’

‘And are we invited?’

Nina had known the question would have to be faced. She didn’t want Giles to come to her wedding. She didn’t want so much pain, on that day of all days. But there was no help for it.