Page 96 of The Fortunes of Ashmore Castle

He had no idea whether she meant it as a joke or not. There was nothing in her face to suggest it. He could only bow again and hand her back, and was quite glad to do it.

Her latest partner led Rachel off the floor, and Angus was there to catch her. ‘This is my dance,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ve hardly seen you all evening.’

She fanned herself vigorously. ‘I didn’t realise so many people would want to dance with me,’ she said modestly.

He took the fan from her and plied it, and as the music started again he said, ‘Would you like to walk outside instead of dancing? I want to talk to you.’ She seemed to hesitate and he said impatiently, ‘It’s quite proper – we are engaged.’

‘Mama never let us go outside at a ball. She said we’d catch a chill.’

Angus took her hand and pulled it under his arm. ‘If you feel chilly I’ll put my jacket round you.’

She glanced at him as they slipped out through the French windows onto the terrace. ‘You look awfully grim. Has something happened?’’

There were a few other people on the terrace, walking up and down, or standing at the parapet looking out on the dark garden, talking quietly. He led her to the far end where they could be alone. Was he going to kiss her? she wondered. Or tell her off ?

He stopped and turned to face her, leaning one elbow on the stone balustrade. He looked very handsome in evening dress, she thought. The light from the ballroom silhouetted him against the darkness beyond. She hoped it was going to be kissing. ‘What did you want to talk about?’ she asked, in what she hoped were seductive tones.

‘You’ve danced with an awful lot of people tonight.’

‘That’s what balls are for,’ she said reasonably. ‘Besides, if people ask one, it looks so particular to refuse.’

Angus sighed. ‘I’m worried that you’re enjoying all this too much – all the parties and balls and everything.’

She laid a hand on his arm. ‘I wish you would come to everything with us. I don’t think Mama would mind, as long as we’re chaperoned.’

‘I couldn’t – I have work to do. But I worry you have the wrong expectations of how life will be. I don’t want you to be disappointed.’

She tilted her head. ‘What do you mean?’

‘By the time you’re of age and we can marry, I shall be able to afford a house for us, but it won’t be a large one. And we won’t be able to afford to go to entertainments like this.’

She thought for a moment. ‘Well, all the more reason to enjoy them while we can,’ she said uncertainly.

‘But I think you should be spending your time preparing for marriage,’ he said. ‘Learning how to run a household. You should learn how things are cleaned, how to cook, how to lay a fire, how to keep a budget.’

‘But we’ll have servants,’ she objected.

‘One or two. But how will you know if they’re doing their job properly if you don’t know how it ought to be done? How will you manage them?’

‘Aunt Caroline just gives her orders. I don’t expect she knows how things are done. That’s what Mrs Wells is for.’

‘Is that her housekeeper? But we won’t be able to afford a housekeeper. Just talk to Mrs Wells, get her to explain how a house is run.’ He took her unwilling hand. ‘I thought you understood that things would be different for us. You said you’d be happy to live in a hovel, as long as we could be married.’

‘But I didn’t mean it!’ she cried, then opened her eyes in horror at what she had said.

Angus let her hand go. ‘I was afraid of that,’ he said quietly. ‘Perhaps you should release me from our engagement.’

She reached for his hand again. ‘No, no, I don’t want to! Don’t look like that! Of course I want to marry you. It’s just that . . . We won’t be so very poor, will we?’

‘We won’t be poor at all. But we won’t be rich, like these people. It worries me that the contrast will be too great for you. Your clothes, for instance: you won’t be able to have new things all the time.’

‘Well, I’ve loads of things from my come-out last year. They’ll last for ages. Especially if – if we don’t go out very much.’ Her tone, which had started reassuring, faltered at the end of the sentence. ‘We will go out sometimes, won’t we?’ she asked, in a small voice.

‘Yes, of course,’ he said sadly. ‘We’ll go out sometimes. But we’ll have a different set of friends, you know. People like me, not people like you.’

‘But you are people like me,’ she said. ‘I love you. I do!’

‘I know. But perhaps love isn’t enough on its own.’