Page 136 of The Fortunes of Ashmore Castle

‘I don’t know,’ Alice said. ‘Really I don’t. She used to tell me things when we were girls in the old schoolroom at the Castle, but all that changed when Mama took her to Germany. I don’t know any more what she’s thinking.’

Angus stared at her penetratingly, his mouth grim. ‘Does she mean to jilt me? Is that what it is?’

She didn’t answer. How could she know?

‘I gave up everything for her,’ he said, in a low, angry voice. ‘My brother Fritz turned twenty-one and married Fiona Culross in August and my father’s officially made him his heir. I’m cut out of his will, thrown out of the family! I wasn’t even invited to the wedding.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘I did it for her! I got myself a position. I work hard, I’m giving satisfaction, I’m saving every penny I can, and by next year, when she’s twenty-one, I shall be able to afford a decent house, and we can get married. It won’t be near what I could have had if I’d bowed down to my father and married Diana Huntley. But what of it? I loved Rachel, and she was all I wanted. And she said she loved me.’

‘I’m sure—’ Alice began helplessly.

‘She’s changed, you know,’ he said abruptly, interrupting her. ‘She was terrified of being separated from me. She wanted to run away with me. She talked about Gretna Green, but I persuaded her it wouldn’t do. I said, “You only have to hold on, that’s all, and we’ll be together for ever.” Now, all she seems to care about is dancing and parties.’

‘You mustn’t be hard on her,’ Alice began, but again he interrupted.

‘God knows, I want her to have all that – nice clothes and jewels and a carriage and servants. I’d be a cad if I wanted her to be less comfortable marrying me than she might be otherwise. And I will give her those things! I’ll work my fingers to the bone for her. She only has to be patient. Is that too much to ask?’

‘No,’ she said sadly. ‘It’s not too much to ask, to be with the man you love.’

He stared again, and his nostrils flared. ‘You’re saying she doesn’t love me any more?’

‘I’m not saying that,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m sure she does love you. It’s just—’

‘Just what?’

‘It’s hard for her. She’s always enjoyed dressing up and balls and so on. I never did. When we were girls together, it was what she dreamed of. I just dreamed about horses. And Mama gave her a taste for it when she brought her out and – well, it’s hard for her, that’s all I’m saying.’

He was silent a moment. ‘It seems as though I picked the wrong sister,’ he said, with a wry twist of his lips.

‘Oh, don’t say that!’ she begged.

‘No, no, of course I don’t mean it. I love her, and I always will, even if she loves dancing more than she loves me. I just need to know where I stand. If—’ He broke off, and started again with difficulty. ‘If she’s had second thoughts, if she wants me to release her, I will. I only want her to be happy.’

She doesn’t deserve you, Alice thought. She said, ‘All I can tell you is that I believe she loves you too.’

‘You believe?’

‘I haven’t spoken to her in months,’ Alice defended herself. ‘I think you have to take your own advice, and just hold on. Be patient. Let her get the dancing out of her system, and she’ll settle down. She’ll come back to you.’

He looked at her a long moment more, and gave a wry smile. ‘You’re kind. I shall like having you for a sister.’

‘I shall like having you for a brother.’

He sighed and turned away. ‘I’ll see myself out. If you speak to her, or write to her, tell her . . .’

‘I know.’

‘I gave up everything for her,’ he said again, quietly. And left.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

In the train on the way down to Portsmouth, Mr Cowling broke a long silence to say, ‘It’s been a good summer. Don’t you think so, my dear?’

Nina looked up from the magazine she wasn’t really reading, not sure what he was referring to. He was looking at her intently.

‘I mean, spending so much more time with you,’ he said. ‘First the Isle of Wight—’