Page 150 of Titus

“The fact that this man insisted you watch him lose himself over and over again while you rode him,” Nat fanned herself. “Jesus, I knew Titus Hawk was a force in bed, but to give that to a woman?”

“Makes you wish you were single again?” Jessica laughed, tipsy yet more composed than most of us at the table.

Nat looked at her. “Oh, no, sweetheart. If my husband hadn’t done that, we would’ve never married.” She smiled at me. “That’s a connection, gorgeous. You’re not losing this guy. I promise you that.”

“We’ve only been together for a couple of weeks,” I said. “But is it bad that I don’t want to lose him?”

“Not at all,” Sienna said. “That’s the beginning stage of falling in love.”

I smiled, thankful that Sienna was just as drunk and joining in on the fun.

“I’m not sure it’s love, though I do love the way the man⁠—”

“Mm hm.” Nat closed her eyes, almost feeling my words and knowing what I was about to say. “How the hell are you doing it with him being gone?”

“I miss him,” I admitted, no thanks to the booze. “I swear I think this could go somewhere, but part of me knows it most likely won’t.”

“You need another drink,” Amelia laughed. “You’re killing the mood.”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, sobering up. “Where can this really go?”

“I don’t know,” Avery chimed in. “I guess I asked the same thing about Jim. Talk about a man from another world. His ass was a player, too.”

“I know,” I said. “Jim’s different. Titus…” I paused, my brain struggling to form sentences.

“Is all glitz and glam?” Sienna said.

“Yes,” I answered. “I don’t want to be in a lonely relationship when the novelty wears off.”

The table grew quieter, and nobody laughed. Every woman at the table knew exactly what I meant.

“Don’t put that into the Universe,” Ash said, “or that’s exactly what will happen.”

“For once, I agree with our big-hearted hippie,” Nat said. “Don’t go there. There’s no point in it. Enjoy it for what it is.”

“Let it work itself out naturally,” Avery added.

“I guess you’re all right,” I added. I exhaled, full and tired from the alcohol, since I’d cut myself off and switched to water. “Well, this has definitely been more entertaining than I imagined.”

“That’s because we got you drunk,” my sober sister said with a laugh. “Let’s get you home.”

After we left, all I could think about after coming down from my significant buzz was how happy I was with Titus right now. The girls were right. I needed to enjoy this for what it was and just see where it would take me.

It was the most alive I’d felt in a long time, and I wasn’t going to kill all of that with my overanalytical mindset when it came to men. If I lived my entire life closed off, I’d surely die an old, lonely maid.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

The farther I drove into Pacific Palisades, the more I understood why people like Titus paid exorbitant amounts to live here.

The winding road hugged the cliffs above the Pacific, the ocean stretching endlessly to my left as the late-afternoon sun turned the water into a glistening gold. Every home seemed more impressive than the last, hidden behind gates, mature landscaping, and seclusion that probably cost more than my first apartment.

Good thing I was using my navigation, because I would’ve driven right past the damn entrance. The steel gates at the entrance to his driveway were nearly hidden behind a stone monument wall and a canopy of olive and sycamore trees. The trees lined the entire driveway, with wrought-iron lanterns on each side, their gas flames flickering.

From what little I could see on the other side of the gates, it was quite enchanting, and it was just a fucking driveway.

The gates opened before I even reached them. Titus had probably alerted security to the make and model of my car. Knowing how people in his world handled security, there were likely hidden cameras for facial recognition, license plate readers, and enough technology monitoring the entrance to track every vehicle that came and went.

Hell, by the time I reached the main house, Titus probably knew my fourth-grade test scores and whether or not I’d ever made a late payment on my electric bill.