Page 409 of Pucking Feral: Part Two

"Perfect, isn't she?" I ask my mate before turning back to Claire. "So here's the thing. Wraith says you like purple flowers. And yeah, okay, fair enough. But I think you're more of a venus flytrap kinda gal."

Claire stares at me.

"You know what these do, right?" I tap the rim of the pot. "They eat bugs. Flies land on 'em, and SNAP." I clap my hands together. "Gone. Brutal little plant. Zero remorse."

"I know what a venus flytrap is," she says icily. "I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were, ma'am."

Claire stares at the tiny open jaws for a long time. Her hand drifts toward it, one finger hovering over the trigger hairs.

"Don't touch those," I say quickly. "She'll getcha."

Claire pulls her hand back, but there's a gleam in her eye I haven't seen before.

Almost... entertained.

Of course she's entertained by a carnivorous fuckin' plant.

"She eats about once every two to four weeks," I continue, settling into the other chair uninvited. It creaks under me and she perks up like she's pumped at the prospect of taking another jab at my size I won't give a shit about. "Houseflies, mostly. Little gnats. Don't feed her cheeseburgers or pizza or anything. She's got a delicate digestive system."

"I didn't ask you to sit down," she says.

"Yeah, I know."

She glares at me.

I grin at her.

She glares harder.

I keep grinning.

"You're an idiot," she announces.

"I've been told."

"A loud, stupid, fat cow of an alpha."

"Wow, that's hurtful. Anyway. Aren't the males called bulls, ma'am?"

She looks like she wants to throttle me, but her eyes slide back to the venus flytrap, then back at me.

"Wraith didn't send this," she says.

"Nope. That one's from me. Your son would never get you something with teeth."

"He's not my son," she mutters.

"Listen, Claire Bear. I know you hate anything imperfect, but, uh, yeah. He's your son. He doesn't deserve the shit you put him through. So the rest of the pack will be coming instead. Kinda sucks for you, though, because we're all imperfect. Well… except this one. She's pretty damn perfect."

I jerk my head toward Ivy, who's standing by the door with her arms crossed, watching me with a warning expression. But she's smiling a little, as nervous as she is.

"Oh! And Thane," I add. "Our pack leader. He's probably kinda perfect. Although he has bad hair, so you'd probably say he looks like a barbarian or somethin'."

"Hey," Ivy protests. "I love Thane's hair. It's just long."

"But it isn't Plague-long," I tell her. "He's gotta commit. In a month or two, it'll be Fabio hair, and it'll look sick. Right now, it's barbarian hair."