Page 39 of Crease Collision

But he didn’t choose for his friend to need help now.

OSKAR: Okay. I start my new job on 10 September. For three weeks, I will be out of town, but we can still text. Can we see each other when I get back?

KAI: Good luck with the job! My busy time of year starts on September 15, and I hope we can stay in touch.

I hope.

Not warm Kai.

OSKAR: I like what we have started. Will you text me while you are away?

It takes too long for his response to come.

KAI: I’ll try. You’re an amazing guy, and I’ll miss you. Sorry, but I have to pack.

OSKAR: Be safe. I will be thinking of you.

I keep the phone beside me, hoping for a reply that never comes. At midnight, I turn off the light and try to fall asleep.

Stop overthinking this. He is busy packing so he can help someone who needs him.

Sleep does not come easily. At seven, half awake, I reach for my phone and am happy to find a message waiting from Kai.

KAI: Off to the airport. I’ll be thinking about you too. Take care of yourself.

My stomach relaxes, and I exhale a breath I must have been holding all night.

It is three days before I hear from him again.

KAI: Got here okay. Hope you’re having fun.

I read it several times, searching for the man whose touch makes me feel warm all over. The one who shudders when I whisper Swedish words into his ear. I don’t find him, but he is probably tired.

OSKAR: I am so happy you texted! It is not the same here without you. How are you feeling?

For a few minutes, we talk about the terrible food he had for dinner and how I thought I was having heat stroke when I went running.

Two days later, I ask about his friend.

KAI: He’s better. How’s NYC? You meeting people?

Meeting people. My stomach clenches into a tight ball.

OSKAR: Why would I want to meet anyone else?

I delete it. Saying something like this might scare him, so I send a different message.

OSKAR: NYC is not the same when you are away. Where are you?

KAI: Maine. Have you been to MoMA yet?

He spends the rest of the conversation as Kai the tourist guide, telling me everything I should see while I have time. It isn’t long until he has to go.

For the rest of the day, his words are my personal albatross.

Meeting people.

Kai knows I am not working yet, so he was referring to other men. I tell myself he is a little jealous. That is easier than wondering if he is sending me to pack. Or is it giving me the door?