Page 112 of Crease Collision

“I like you because you are you, different or not.”

“God! I don’t know if you…” His eyes remind me of a trapped animal’s.

“Take your time, baby.”

He nods slowly, and some of the tension leaves his face.

“My brain… it doesn’t work like yours. Or most people’s.”

“That’s okay. I like it, however it works.”

“I’m smart, what they call profoundly gifted, and I have ADHD. There’s a term for that, twice-exceptional.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “Sounds fake as hell, right? But it’s me.”

I give him what I hope is an encouraging smile. “It doesn’t sound fake. You’re amazing, Kai.”

He spends a moment wiping the condensation from his water bottle and rubbing it onto his jeans, back and forth, until there’s a dark patch on the denim.

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to fit in,” he says. “Worked hard, acted cheerful around my teammates. Tried to keep my life in order so I don’t miss things. It mostly works, but lots of people still think I’m weird. Do you think I’m weird?”

Is this what he’s been so afraid of?

“No,” I say. “I think you’re brilliant, and I don’t have words for how much I like you.”

He studies my face for so long my skin gets itchy. Eventually, he says, “I’m scared, you know that.”

“Scared of me?”

“No. But yes too. I l-like you more than anyone. But… There was this guy.”

Jävlar. “Tell me.” I doubt I want to hear it, but I have to. If I need to go hurt someone, I will.

He takes a sip of water, then swipes at the tears already running down his cheeks.

“We dated in college. I thought he liked me. He said he loved me, but he didn’t. He hated… this.” Kai taps his temple. “The way I’d get stuck on things, how I needed to work hard and keep everything organized so I could cope. I found out he was cheating on me, and when I confronted him, he really let me have it. Said I was a freak. Broken. Hopeless. Too much. He basically told me to fuck off, so I did.”

Kai starts picking at the label on his bottle. Tiny bits of paper stick to his finger, and when some fall, he leans over and makes sure he finds each sliver. After he puts them on the table, he says, “It destroyed me for a while. I promised myself it would never happen again, so I haven’t dated anyone since. Until you. I can’t resist you, Ozzy, but I’ve been pushing you away because I’m scared.”

I don’t know what to say, so I nod.

He takes another deep breath. “I know I’ve hurt you, but I don’t know how to fix it. Please don’t give up on me because I don’t want to lose you.”

My chest aches so much it’s hard to breathe. I have to force my voice to work. “There’s nothing wrong with you, baby.”

KAI

My breathing slows as Ozzy’s thumb moves in slow circles on the back of my hand. All he has to do is touch me for my body to respond. I need to say something to make sure he heard me. “But I told you. My brain works⁠—”

“And I told you that I like how your brain works. How you notice things nobody else does and remember little details about people and things. That is not weird, Kai. It is caring.”

Is he telling the truth? He isn’t looking at me like I’m a problem to figure out.

“You handle everything so well,” he says. “Your lists and schedules, coping mechanisms like your LEGO. It’s not too much. It’s you being you.”

“But my ex said⁠—”

“Your ex was a fucking idiot. You’re strong. Look how you have a reset room instead of pretending you don’t need one. And you made it to the top of professional hockey. That is nothing less than amazing. It shows how determined you are.”

There’s no judgment in Ozzy’s eyes. No hesitation in his voice.