Page 14 of Surrender

Dumbstruck, he’d been unable to do anything but stare, while she remained oblivious to his gaze. Her wet bathing costume had clung to her figure, emphasizing a body blossoming into the lush, full-figured shape of a woman. Nipples hardened by the cool water had been clearly outlined as the garment had molded itself to the gentle swell of her breasts.

Soft, rounded hips supported by long legs and lush thighs had been exquisitely and erotically delineated by the wet material clinging to her body. The bathing costume had detailed the line of her inner legs right up to the apex of her thighs. The sight had sent a surge of lust blasting through him. It was the first time in his life he’d ever hungered for a woman both mentally and physically.

Theo was well-acquainted with lust. His older cousins had shared numerous photographs of scantily clad women with him. Those images had aroused and titillated him. He’d even envisioned more than one of those scandalous pictures while pumping his cock in private. But his reaction to those decadent photographs paled in comparison to what he’d experienced as his eyes had stayed riveted on Genevieve.

Not even when he’d been thinking of the women in those photographs had his cock been as hard as it had been that day at the pond. Unable to control his body’s reaction to Genevieve, he’d been forced to disappear into a nearby grove of trees to hide his erection. Even when she was no longer in view, Genevieve’s body and beautiful face had remained vividly etched in his mind.

When he’d failed to make his body obey him, Theo had resorted to fisting his cock until he’d spilled his seed. The entire time he’d capitulated to his body’s demand for satisfaction, he’d imagined Genevieve beneath him, her beautiful face glowing with passion as he made love to her.

From that point on, he’d refused to let her join him and Peter when they ventured out onto the Abbey’s grounds. He’d also maintained his distance from her during family gatherings for fear his body might betray his attraction to her. Embarrassed, Theo sat rigid in the hack. Fingers digging into his thighs, he stared out at the passing scenery.

“And I recognized how inappropriate my reaction was that day. I’m just as fond of her as I am of my other cousins, and I have no wish to cause her embarrassment,” he said icily, before he turned his head and narrowed his eyes at Peter’s look of disbelief. “I solved the problem by keeping my distance from her, whether it was my refusing to let her accompany the two of us or my avoiding her company when we’re in the same place.”

“Oh, it’s been blatantly apparent that you’ve kept your distance. But perhaps you could explain why you’ve been standing guard at social functions with me and rescuing her from unsuitable men?”

“Christ almighty, Peter. Genevieve isn’t just a Rockwood. She also happens to be the most beautiful woman in London. It’s why every man in the family does the same thing I do if they see someone unsuitable approaching her,” he snarled as he tried to convince his friend he wasn’t in love with Genevieve. “No one wants some libertine taking advantage of her. I care what happens to Genevieve, just like I do my sister and all my cousins.”

“We both know she’s not related to you by blood. And you sure as hell don’t look at your sister or our cousins like you do Ginny.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he bit out through clenched teeth as he scowled at Peter for a moment, then returned his gaze to the buildings lining the street. He didn’t like the direction this conversation was going and struggled fiercely to find a way to end the conversation.

“It means, you imbecilic oaf,” Peter exclaimed with angry exasperation. “Whenever I see you looking at Ginny, it’s as if she’s the only woman in the world that matters to you. Your eyes never stray from her no matter what direction she heads.”

Stunned more by Peter’s observation than his best friend’s fierce, acid tone, Theo jerked his gaze back to the man seated beside him in horrified astonishment. Christ Jesus, was his best friend right? Had he actually been acting like one of her lovesick suitors? Theo dismissed the thought. He wasn’t in love with Genevieve.

Lust, that’s what Peter was seeing—unadulterated lust. Tension flooded his limbs. In truth, he wasn’t much better than the old men whose lascivious gazes stripped Genevieve bare in their heads. Every time the woman filled his thoughts, he envisioned making love to her.

That wasn’t love. It was an obsession, and he’d managed to control it successfully for a long time. A voice in the deep recesses of his mind protested, but he silenced it with a vicious blow. When he didn’t respond, Peter threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of angry defeat.

“You’re so besotted with her, you can’t even see it,” his friend glared at Theo for a long moment, then heaved a brotherly sigh of disgust. “Admit it, Theo. You’re in love with Genevieve. If you won’t admit it to me, at least admit it to yourself and do something about it.”

A sudden bump against his shoulder from Amenhotep tugged Theo out of his reverie. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out another piece of apple and fed it to the horse. Absently, he rubbed the animal’s neck as it chomped on the fruit, while he remembered Peter challenging him to admit he had feelings for Genevieve.

It was true he was fond of Genevieve. He’d always enjoyed the sound of her laughter, and the way her beautiful green eyes sparkled when she was teasing someone. She had the strength of will few men had, and her ability to venture back into the hell that had left her scarred indicated her courage.

How could he not be fond of her, admire her? It was why he cared about her happiness, but love? With a snort of disgust, Theo closed his eyes for a moment and blew out a harsh breath of air. The only thing he had to admit was that he was guilty of acting dishonorably this afternoon.

Today he’d lost command of his senses and acted on the hunger he’d suppressed for years. He’d also violated Peter’s trust in him to look after Genevieve. Bedding her was not looking after her. Worst of all, his inability to control himself had only increased his need to make love to her again. It didn’t help matters she refused to marry him, but was more than willing to become his mistress. How could he do that to her?

He couldn’t, which meant he had to find a way to convince her to marry him. Theo wasn’t sure how he could resolve the issue, but he would think of something. Muttering an oath, he looked at Amenhotep.

“Why in the hell didn’t I just replace her goddamn bandage and order her to put her bloody jacket back on the moment I saw how bad her injury was?”

His query went unanswered as the horse stared back at him. A brief second later, Amenhotep bowed its head to nudge at the pocket that held the last of the apple slices. Giving the animal the last piece in his pocket, Theo looked toward the low-lying croft.

He should have believed Wills as to the extent of her wound. Perhaps he might have if he’d not been so shocked to learn she’d been working for the Crown all this time. C was to blame for that. The man should have told all of them so they could at least watch out for her.

Irritated that he’d been such an idiot, Theo shook his head, trying to think of what he could have done to prevent what had just happened. Why had he demanded to see the wound for himself? And why the fuck had he kissed her?

Why? Because he’d been wanting to kiss her since that day at the pond. No, he’d wanted a lot more than just a kiss. From the moment he’d seen Genevieve rising up out of the pond years ago, he’d been craving what had just happened between them in the croft. His desire for her was precisely why Theo had stayed as far away from her as he could all these years.

Peter had been mistaken. He might be fond of Genevieve, but love? No. What Theo felt for Genevieve was desire. In the back of his mind, he heard Peter’s mocking laughter, all the while whispering that the emotion driving Theo to bed Genevieve had been something much different than lust.

Denial made him shake his head. If his best friend were with him now, Theo would remind Peter of that summer day at the pond. That was when his hunger for Genevieve had begun, and he’d recognized then the danger she posed. Every time she was near him, Theo’s entire body ached for her. It was why he’d always stayed as far away from Genevieve as possible.

Even when standing guard at different soirées like the rest of the male Rockwoods, Theo still managed to keep his distance. While the others would rescue Genevieve under the pretense she’d promised them a dance, Theo never did.

He would send the offending male on his way, then guide Genevieve to another family member in attendance, before putting space between them. Theo knew pulling Genevieve into his arms to circle the dance floor with her was far too dangerous. Her touch always left an invisible mark that burned him for hours afterward. Just having her hand tucked inside the crook of his arm was sheer hell. But today? Today he’d crossed the Rubicon and could never go back. His desire for Genevieve had erupted with such an intensity, it had exploded out of control. Theo had always dreamed of what it would be like making love to Genevieve. But Christ Jesus, the carnal, base chemistry between them this afternoon was something he’d never expected.