Page 11 of Surrender

She wanted him. But was it only the desire to experience carnal pleasures, or was it a confession that she’d felt the connection between them moments ago? A connection he’d felt since that day almost ten years ago, when he’d seen her wet bathing dress clinging to her breasts and her womanly curves already visible.

The sudden sensation of hanging precariously from a place too high to climb down from, Theo clenched his jaw. All he wanted to do at this precise moment was to let go and carry her back to the bed. He wanted to worship every inch of her until she screamed his name and shattered in his arms over and over again.

In the next breath, Theo remembered the fragility he’d seen on her face seconds ago. Peter’s death had left her defenseless beneath the façade she erected every day. There was no way in hell he was going to take advantage of her, even if his cock was shouting a vicious dissent. Almost instantly, the beast became a tight, uncomfortable bulge in his snug breeches.

Theo didn’t reply to Genevieve’s tempting offer. Instead, keeping his back to her in order to hide his arousal, he swept his riding boots up off the floor and sank down into a nearby chair. Ruthlessly shoving his feet into the shiny black leather footwear, he winced as the new leather proved unwieldy.

Rising from the chair, Theo stamped the floor to make the boots fit his feet more comfortably. At the same time, he managed to conceal his efforts to shift his cock into a more comfortable, less noticeable position, struggling to make his arousal subside. Theo tugged at the top of his boots again, all too aware of Genevieve’s gaze on his back.

“Well…aren’t you going to say something, Lord Selbourne?”

A harsh breath of air escaped Genevieve, and Theo looked over his shoulder at her. Humiliation flitted across her beautiful face before it disappeared behind an insouciant expression. One eyebrow arched imperiously, Genevieve eyed him with a look of mockery. He shrugged as he reached for his waistcoat, ensuring he kept his back to her to hide his rebellious cock.

“I didn’t realize you wished me to comment as to the veracity of your statement, but if you’re asking if I believe you’re being honest, then my answer is yes,” he replied, relieved the lust her offer had aroused in him wasn’t evident in his voice.

Despite his voice not betraying him, his cock threatened to make him pay a painful price if he didn’t alleviate the beast’s hunger. But his arousal would signal how much he wanted to give way to her, and Genevieve wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation. The thought of her body pressing into his as her hand stroked him through his clothing made him swallow hard. Giving way to desire again would be a mistake.

“And my second honest admission?”

“May I presume to believe you’ve reconsidered my offer of marriage?” Theo turned his head to study Genevieve over his shoulder for a brief moment. He had his answer before she even spoke.

“No, you may not,” she snapped.

“Then what are you suggesting, Genevieve?”

Theo turned to face her, his heart pounding with dread the moment he saw the expression on her lovely features. Theo’s throat closed as something told him she was about to render him speechless once more.

“I’m saying I would like to be your mistress,” she said in a matter-of-fact voice. “As I said, I did enjoy…found your touch most pleasurable.”

As he’d expected, the woman had him teetering on the brink of disaster. Theo didn’t know why Genevieve’s request stunned him, but it did. That she’d asked to be his mistress filled him with emotions that ran the gamut from shock to lust to horror. All Theo could do was stare at her in disbelief. Her eyes narrowed.

“Why are you so surprised, Theo? If our roles were reversed, it would be perfectly acceptable for you to offer such an arrangement to a woman who’d willing given herself to you.” Genevieve paused for a moment, then stepped forward and pressed her hand into his chest. The fire of her touch burned straight through his shirt and into his chest.

“And I’m not oblivious to the fact you desire me. In fact, I’m certain you want to bed me again, and I’m eager for you to do so.”

“And I won’t insult you by denying either of those two facts,” Theo choked out in a hoarse voice.

“Then are we in agreement as to the arrangement I’m proposing?”

Genevieve’s question was so calm and pragmatic, it was as if she were buying or selling a horse at Tattersalls. The comparison sent a shudder through Theo. It was one thing to reject his offer of marriage, but to offer herself as his mistress…his heart clenched in pain. Genevieve was right. He wanted her again and again, but he’d be damned if he’d accept her offer. In the end he’d hate himself, and she’d come to hate him.

“Only a fool would refuse to accept what you’re offering.”

Theo swallowed hard as she jerked slightly, and the tightness in his chest grew more painful by the second. Not even a piano wire could have been pulled any more taut than his muscles. She knew he was about to refuse her, and it killed him to see the mortification and shame in her green eyes.

“But you’re going to be that fool,” she said in a tight, crisp voice meant to cover her humiliation, but didn’t succeed

Theo’s throat constricted as he watched her gaze become hard and cold. Unable to bear watching green eyes glittering with shame from the pain he’d caused her, Theo moved to pick up the narrow necktie lying on the floor next to his coat. Gathering up the remainder of his clothes, he dropped them onto a chair, then slid the black strip of cloth around his neck collar.

With swift movements, he adjusted the tie so it draped in equal lengths around his neck, then flipped one strip over the other. In a few skilled twists, he tied the narrow ribbon of material into a small bow at the base of his throat. Theo studied Genevieve. She was pale, and her fragility was more than evident now.

“Yes, I’m going to be that fool, because I need to be able to live with myself,” he said gently. “I think you’re looking for a way to ease your grief, but my making love to you is not going to accomplish that.”

“You forget, my lord, I’m the one who enticed you into satisfying my physical needs. I was the one in control.”

“I’ve forgotten nothing about what happened between us. And if you think I’ll ever forget making love to you, then you’re mistaken.” Theo’s gaze locked with Genevieve’s as he took a step forward to stroke her cheek in a feathery caress. “I don’t think you will either, which is why I need to be the man who’s a fool.”

“I don’t understand,” she said softly as confusion shadowed her eyes.