Page 49 of Forever My Lass

“I am,” Madeline said with a nod. The housekeeper studied her for a moment in silence then bobbed her head.

“Verra well, I’ll send Eileen up with paper and pen in a wee bit.”

“Paper and pen?” Madeline shook her head in bewilderment.

“Aye, ye will need to write an advertisement telling others ye are seeking a position,” Mrs. McFayden studied Madeline suspiciously.

“Oh, at home, the employer advertises in the paper and then I apply for the position.” Her explanation made the Scotswoman raise her eyes to the heavens and release a disgusted sigh in obvious disapproval of foreigners.

“I’ll send up the Scotsman and the Aberdeen Herald with Eileen so ye can see how others advertise their services.”

“Thank you.” Madeline nodded her understanding, and if possible, her heart seemed to sink even lower in her chest. It had become a physical ache, and she was fighting hard not to cry. As she turned away to continue to her room, the Scottish housekeeper made a quiet sound of concern.

“Ye dinnae look well, Miss Whitworth. Is there anything I can do for ye?”

As she’d done with first Iain and his friends, then Grace, and now Mrs. McFayden, Madeline forced a smile to her lips then glanced over her shoulder.

“No, thank you, Mrs. McFayden. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I thought I’d take a nap. Thank you again, for your help.”

As she walked away from the woman, Madeline could sense the Scotswoman watching her, but she didn’t look back. The moment she reached her room, she stood with her back pressed into the door’s wood paneling and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how, but she needed to find a way to hide her misery from the girls, and from Iain too.

Worse, she needed to prepare herself for the day when she left Muchalls Hall. She knew that day would come far too quickly, and it would be devastating for her. A tear pushed its way past a closed eyelid.

If she’d known before she boarded the Destiny’s Dream her voyage would end in heartache, she would have walked the other way. But she hadn’t, and here she was trapped in the past with no way to return. Exhausted physically and emotionally drained by the fear, uncertainty, and heartache weighing down on her, Madeline walked toward her bed. Within minutes of stretching out on the mattress, she was sound asleep.

Chapter 12

Iain laid down his fork then took a drink of wine from his goblet. Mrs. McFayden had outdone herself for the evening’s meal in honor of his guests, including the roasted pheasant for dinner. There was only one thing missing. Madeline.

The moment her name whispered through his head, Iain’s gaze immediately flew to the empty chair at the opposite end of the table. Before dinner had been announced, Eileen had informed him that Madeline wasn’t feeling well and would not be joining them for dinner.

The news had immediately aroused his concern as he recalled Madeline’s wan pallor earlier. Even despite her laughter, there had been a haunted air about her that had worried him. Sensing his concern, Grace had quietly told him that Madeline had looked ill when she’d returned to the house this afternoon. Like Iain, his oldest child had observed her teacher’s distraught, lethargic manner. Madeline had reassured his daughter that she was simply tired, but Grace was certain her teacher had not been well at all.

Now, as Iain studied the empty chair opposite him, he realized how accustomed he was to seeing Madeline seated across from him at every meal. It was as if the light in the room always shone brighter when she was present. Iain knew the practice of one’s governess taking meals with the family would be considered inappropriate in other households. Mrs. McFayden had eyed him with distinct disapproval the first time he mentioned Madeline was to eat with the family.

In fact, even Angus had arched an eyebrow when he’d learned Madeline was taking her meals with him and his daughters. He’d waved off the couple’s unasked questions by explaining Madeline was dining with the family to monitor his daughters’ table etiquette. A loud snort of derisive laughter echoed in his mind, while another voice called him a liar.

“Faither, do ye have another headache?” Grace whispered as she leaned toward him. The question made him jerk his head to where his oldest sat next to him at his left.

“No, lass. What makes you ask me that?” The question caused the woman on his right to release a small laugh.

“Because you’re scowling like the grumpiest of Scotsmen.” The viscountess’s comment reminded him of Madeline’s observation the day after his return from Aberdeen.

“He’s worried about Madeline,” Ainslie said cheerfully as she eyed Iain with a sly grin. Not about to give his youngest any ammunition to use against him, he shook his head.

“Actually, I was thinking about the property Sebastian and I visited yesterday.” He looked toward his friend who was studying him with a quiet assessment.

“So, you agree that the textile mill would be an excellent investment?”

“It will require a substantial amount of investment to make it safe for the workers, but I feel relatively confident the output will be doubled afterward. Workers who know their employer cares for their safety and well-being work harder than dissatisfied employees.”

“I concur.” Sebastian said with a nod of satisfaction. “The days of living off the rents of tenants is long gone. Our financial survival going forward means it’s important we find ways to make Birchwood a working estate. The mill will expand the family holdings, while our livestock can supplement the wool we buy from farmers near the mill.”

“I think it’s a wise investment and business decision.” Iain smiled at his friend.

“Just as it would be a wise move on your part to accept my offer.” Sebastian grinned the moment Iain frowned.

“It’s a fair offer, but I dinnae think I’m the right one for the job.”