Page 45 of Redemption

“The idea that I’m afraid of you is not only ludicrous, it’s the height of arrogance,” Rhea snapped as she realized she was afraid. She was afraid of herself. The way she’d responded to his touch terrified her. She’d been engulfed in a blaze of passion that had consumed her to the point of being oblivious to anything resembling rational thought. She never believed it possible a man could make her feel desire so profoundly. Determined not to reveal her fear, she met his gaze with one of defiance. Although she was certain her emotions were confined behind a wall of serenity, the way his eyes narrowed with assessment alarmed her.

“If you’re not afraid, then why are you running away?”

“I am not running away,” she snapped. “I simply have no wish to be an object of pity.”

“What in the name of hell would make you think I pity you?” The defensive note in his voice caught her off guard. Clearly incensed by her statement, his brown eyes were dark with indignation. Unwilling to expose her deepest fears, Rhea tilted her chin upward.

“I would think that obvious to anyone. The moment I responded to you in a manner that no…respectable woman would, you realized I was soiled goods. Your reaction is understandable. But I have no wish to be pitied for my past.” Bitterness wove its way through her as she swore to make Ruckley pay for destroying her life. Percy shook her slightly, and her gaze met his.

“My reaction to your—my reaction had nothing to do with your past,” Percy snarled. “I pushed you away because I was on the verge of losing control and making love to you on that damn bench. Pity is the last thing I feel for you”

His confession stunned Rhea, and she stared up at him in open-mouthed amazement. The strong line of his jaw was rigid with tension, and the intensity of his gaze made her heart skip a beat as she saw the banked blaze of passion darkening his eyes. Slow to recover from her surprise, she swallowed hard beneath Percy’s intent gaze. The desire ebbed from his expression, and he shook his head as he studied her with puzzlement.

“Is it so difficult to believe a man is capable of being a gentleman where you’re concerned?” His question made her close her eyes for a brief moment as she struggled with her sense of worth.

“I expect only what any other woman in my position expects.” She paused to draw in a deep breath before she continued. “Whores quickly learn their real value to men.”

Silence greeted her declaration and she forced herself to meet his gaze. The raw fury on his face made her take a quick step back. Percy uttered a harsh oath, but didn’t move. Rhea watched his throat bob as if he were struggling to speak. His facial expression stern and forbidding, he cleared his throat.

“You are never to refer to yourself in that manner again.”

“I cannot deny who or what I am,” she said stiffly.

“You do yourself a grave injustice, Rhea.”

“No, I speak the truth. You know nothing about me or my past.” Tension held her stiff and unmoving as she eyed him with scorn.

“I know enough to believe you sacrificed your honor to protect others.” The gentle note in his voice sent a shudder streaking through her.

It was as if he were urging her to forgive herself for the past. She wavered on the brink of absolution before casting the notion aside. Forgiveness and acceptance could be dealt with when the children were safe. At the moment, Percy Rockwood was her biggest problem. She should have found a way to keep him out of her life. Rhea shook her head slightly as she stared up at him.

There was a stubborn tilt to his beautiful, firm mouth. Only moments ago, those lips had ignited a blaze that still smoldered in her belly. The thought made her tremble. She jumped as Percy stepped forward to capture her hands in his. Slowly, he caressed the tips of her fingers with his mouth. The gentle touch sent another tremor cascading through her, and she swallowed hard as she met his gaze.

“I told you this afternoon to trust me,” he said quietly. “I failed you a moment ago. It won’t happen again.”

“The blame does not lie solely at your feet,” she murmured as the memory of his touch caused a wave of heat to rise in her cheeks.

“Nonetheless, I’ll not take advantage of you again,” he said firmly. The resolve in his voice caused disappointment to spike through her. She’d enjoyed the way he’d kissed her. She’d relished the rush of pleasure his mouth had aroused in her.

“You didn’t take advantage of me,” she said softly as she pulled her hands out of his to brush her fingers over her lips as bewilderment swept over her. “Other than you, no man has ever kissed me before, and I thought it quite pleasurable.”

Rhea’s heart slammed to a halt. What in God’s name was she thinking to have made such an outrageous statement out loud—let alone think it? Her gaze met Percy’s and heat burned her face again. The dumbfounded look on his face made her mouth go dry. Her rash confession had made a bad situation worse. Percy’s astonishment quickly dissolved into a dark frown, which made her throat close with trepidation. Bowing her head, Rhea struggled to keep the humiliation out of her voice.

“I’m sorry. I should not have said that.”

“What? That I’m the first man to kiss you, or that you enjoyed it?” The words were brusque, but the gentleness of his touch as he forced her to look at him softened his response.

“Both,” she whispered. “I...I never thought I could—”

Rhea halted her response abruptly as she came close to revealing one of her dark secrets. Her heart pounded frantically in her chest. She’d never told anyone, not even Arianna, how she’d endured the revolting touch of all the men Ruckley had sold her to. It wasn’t a topic either of them had ever discussed.

She was certain it was because the subject was as disgusting, humiliating, and painful for Arianna as it was for her. Confusion held her in its grip as she saw the compassion and questions in Percy’s brown-eyed gaze. He didn’t say anything, he simply allowed her to decide whether to continue of not. Just as he’d done this afternoon, his understanding melted some of the ice encasing her heart.

“I…when…by not letting anyone kiss me, I was able…I could distance myself from the horror,” she whispered.

Each of her words echoed with shame and disgust, and a shudder ripped through her as she remembered all the times she’d lain beneath the foul-smelling men who’d bought the use of her body from Ruckley. Despite the warmth of the summer evening, Rhea was suddenly chilled to the bone. First one shiver and then another gripped her, and a second later she was engulfed in Percy’s warm embrace. He didn’t say anything, he simply offered her comfort. Rhea didn’t move for several moments, grateful for the strength flowing out of him and into her body. For the second time in just a few hours, she didn’t feel alone.

“I promise you Rhea, I’ll see that the bastard pays for what he did to you.”

The dark anger reflected in his voice made Rhea turn her face into his chest as she fought back tears. She knew he would do his best to make good on his promise, but he didn’t know Ruckley as she did. Somehow she would find a way to battle Ruckley on her own, if only to keep Percy safe.