Page 91 of Conquest

“Is he yours?” Evan asked, his eyes focused on the puppy.

Jesse stopped a couple feet away from him. “Yeah. I found him this morning in Grant Park.”

“He’s really cute. He looks like a baby Rin Tin Tin that got into Lassie’s wardrobe.”

A chuckled slipped out of Jesse’s throat before he realized it. “That’s a good way to describe him.”

Evan smiled and raised his eyes to Jesse. “Have you named him yet?”

“Achilles.”

“That’s perfect with how much you love ancient culture. I still think it’s funny when we’re both reading on the couch, I’ll be reading a car magazine, and you’re always reading some long lost piece of literature that no one knows about.” Evan stopped his sentence short and averted his gaze again.

Jesse also turned his eyes the floor, the memory of such relaxed moments causing a suffocating pain in his chest. He cleared his throat, and said softly, “I didn’t think you were recording during the day anymore.”

“I haven’t left since last night,” Evan mumbled.

Quiet surrounded them. Neither looked at the other.

With each silence filled second that ticked by, Jesse felt as if his heart ripped a little bit more. How did it come to this, to where there was such strain between them? Had their months of happiness really been a dream? It seemed so now. Unable to handle the awkwardness, Jesse reached to take Achilles.

Evan caught sight of Jesse’s skinned hands and elbow. He snatched Jesse’s left arm and turned it to look at the scratches, his voice lifting with concern. “Jess, what happened to you? Are you okay?”

Anger sparked in Jesse at the concern in Evan’s face and voice. It seemed a mockery after the coldness he had showed him. He jerked his arm out of Evan’s hand. “What do you care?”

Evan’s expression turned pained. Carefully, he handed him Achilles. “Please don’t be like that.”

Jesse held Achilles close to his chest, fixing Evan with as harsh of a glare as he could muster, but he couldn’t hold it. He sighed and glanced away. “I fell when I was running this morning.”

A somber smile tipped one corner of Evan’s lips. “How can anyone who’s so graceful on stage be so clumsy off it?”

“Yeah well, we all have things that can bring us down, don’t we?” Jesse said, and turned to leave.

“Jess, wait.”

Jesse stopped, his back to him.

“Do you…want to grab some lunch, or something?”

Jesse shook his head and continued to walk away. “I can’t. I don’t want to leave Achilles alone in a strange place so soon. Another time, maybe.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Jesse walked into the studio, Achilles trotting at his side. He sipped on a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks, the caffeine already kicking in to help him be more alert despite the headache that seemed ever present. He rubbed one temple with his fingertips, wondering how long Evan’s wounded mien would haunt him. It managed to all weekend, popping into his head at moments it shouldn’t, like when he remembered how to laugh and smile while playing with Achilles, or when he and Brandon joked around when walking him. More than once he faced the mental image and felt such guilt over not going to lunch with Evan, he almost called him and asked him to dinner.

He held strong through the weekend, but now here he was at the studio at the ungodly hour of six-thirty in the morning under the excuse that since he couldn’t sleep, he might as well come in and dink around on the piano. Though under the excuse a painfully honest voice whispered he was there with the hope of running into Evan.

Jesse glanced in the vocal booth as he came upon it. His heart matched his stride in stuttering to a stop at seeing Evan. When it beat again, it was with a pain so deep his soul and body constricted in a strangled sob at Evan’s condition. He looked worse than he had the week before. The dark circles were more pronounced on his ashen face. By the pallor of his skin, the thinness in his face, the way his wrinkled shirt hung on his shoulders, it was clear to him Evan had lost weight. He noticed how Evan’s hands trembled as he pressed the headphones to his ears, as if that simple act took all his strength, then he saw another thing that sent a jolt through his heart. Evan’s fingers were bare of rings save for the alexandrite one he’d given him. Not even the precious eagle ring of his father adorned his finger.

As Evan stood singing, his voice and his body wavered.

“Some people think

I live a life of

Fairytales and dreams

But…if…”