Page 60 of Let Me Love You

I don’t slow my movements this time. No, I need to remain in control. Instead, I move quicker, tears forming in my eyes. I look up at him, and our gazes clash. He pulls my hair, so I look all the way up at him.

“Are you going to swallow my come like a good girl?”

I nod before bringing him to my throat again. As I gag, I hold him there and pump him. His moan fills the room, and his hips jerk.

“I’m coming,” Victor grits out as he pulls out and slams into my face one last time. I swallow, and more and more come slides down my throat.

I look up at him, my eyeliner and mascara probably running down my face and adrenaline rushing through my veins. Pushing to a standing position, I’m unsure what to do now. This is a sex-only arrangement, so it’s not like I’m expecting a declaration of love or even cuddling. But something has definitely shifted. And I don’t like it.

Victor straightens himself and pulls me to him. “Next time, I promise we’ll both come together.”

Next time. I don’t think I can handle a next time while holding my boundaries. He finds the smallest ways to throw me off balance like a simple embrace and a promise I know he intends to keep.

This has to be the last time before I lose myself.

Chapter 27

Victor

On the way to Frank’s restaurant, I called my dad. His voice sounded stronger than the last time I saw him. For once, my heart feels a little less heavy. Maybe he will pull through after all. If eating a bland diet will lengthen his life, I’ll hide all the salt in the world from him.

Now that he’s healing, Serenity and my inevitable divorce in a little more than eleven months shouldn’t affect him too harshly. He’ll understand. Our world is too much for Serenity. All I have to do is keep my heart protected.

As if she doesn’t already own most of it.

I haven’t fully given up on Serenity staying. Sometimes, I see her resolve start to crumble, and that’s all the encouragement I need. She no longer throws accusations at me because of her trust issues. Not to mention, she’s trusted me with her body.

That’s something I never thought I’d experience. But I can’t force her to stay with me, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. All I truly want is Serenity’s happiness.

We walk into the restaurant, and I’m holding the cutest date’s hand. Glancing down, I spy Summer’s red ringlets bouncing with her every step. The moment Serenity unbuckled Summer from her car seat, she asked to hold my hand. My hand. Out of everyone, this tiny human chose me.

I can’t stop the smile that takes over my mouth. I never expected the person to take me down to be a four-year-old.

Music and chatter twine together, creating a peaceful chaos. People flit from table to table, chitchatting. A group of men sit to our side drinking beer and laughing like they’re all old friends. An enormous banner crosses at least half of the restaurant that reads, Happy 50th Anniversary!

I take everything in with wide eyes. Fifty years and they still love each other. My chest expands at the thought that maybe I could have that with Serenity.

This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. No formal attire. No fake politeness. No tiny plates. Everything about this party screams normal. It’s exactly what I’ve been craving, especially since that night drinking beer with Elias.

“Mommy, it’s too loud,” Summer says.

Serenity appears at her daughter’s side. “Is it too much for you, baby? We can go home.”

“No, Auntie Lana will be here, and I want candy.”

A laugh bursts free from my lips, and Summer’s bright eyes meet mine. I clear my throat and say, “Do you want me to buy you a candy store?”

“Yes!”

Summer’s immediate answer makes me chuckle, but Serenity’s lips tip down. Shit. I spoke without thinking, and it feels like we took two steps backward. Note to self: I need to remember to talk to Serenity first, then Summer.

“Maybe if you still want it when you’re a grown-up, I will.”

“But I want it nooow!”

Lana strides in our direction, and Summer must notice her at the same time as I do because she bolts over to the woman. I move behind Summer, leaving everyone else behind.

Serenity stands beside me, her gaze firmly on Summer. “Why do you look so tense?”