Page 28 of Game Over

“Carson will get a kick out of that. Do they know each other?”

“Not that I know of, which is weird that she would say that. I mean, she’s had a bit of a rough past, and she was previously married, but she also wasn’t big on the dating scene after. Not that I could blame her.” Thinking back to her shitty excuse of an ex tampered with my mood, but I shook it off. That wasn’t my story to tell.

“Hmm, who knows. Carson is a little bit of a playboy, as Emma called him, and as far as I know, he doesn’t know her either. He even said she was pretty. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll tell us something eventually.”

He tentatively reached over and hovered over my hand. “Is this okay? To hold your hand, I mean?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He interlaced our fingers, and our hands fit together so perfectly. His calloused hands felt warm and strong wrapped around mine. We went back to listening to the music together and jamming out till we got to his apartment.

His apartment was in a set of newer builds that sat on top of a hill. They were more like townhomes since there were two per unit from what I could see. Spencer's front porch light was on, so I could get a decent look at his building as we headed up the walkway.

His was quaint with white wooden siding on the top half, and river rock along the bottom. It had a small front porch with two small steps leading up to it. He didn’t have any decorations, which didn’t totally surprise me, as most men probably didn’t worry about that type of thing.

Spencer quickly unlocked the door and led me inside. He flipped the lights on, and I began wandering around. Not much adorned the walls or space. A cream couch sat against the wall with a small table sitting in front of it.

“I’m gonna grab my stuff quickly. It’s not much, but make yourself at home.” He placed a quick kiss on my cheek and headed down the small hallway that I assumed led to his bedroom. Taking the space in some more, I realized there were no pictures either. Nothing showed him and his family. Nothing to show his accomplishments and milestones.

My lips tipped down in a frown, and a deep sadness washed over me, knowing that whatever happened between them was clearly bad enough that he had nothing to show of his life. Spencer seemed so kind and warm. I couldn’t picture something awful happening to his sweet soul that would cause him to have nothing.

Dolly headed off in her own direction to another door in the hall. I followed, not wanting her to mess anything up, and we stumbled upon his gaming setup. There was a wide desk nestled in the corner next to a window with two large monitors atop it and a computer tower and PlayStation as well.

Being my nosy self, I sat down and jiggled the mouse. The system kicked on, and the lights behind the monitors illuminated a multitude of colors. The side of his tower was clear, so I could see all of the wires and hookups, and the fan running.

“This is pretty impressive,” I said, half mumbling to myself.

“Thank you. I built it myself, but I know it may be kind of lame.” Spencer's voice whispered against the shell of my ear. Goosebumps danced across my skin, and my eyes fluttered closed. I hadn’t heard him come in, let alone get this close to me. “Caught you snooping.” I could feel his smile as his breath tickled my skin, causing arousal to pool low in my stomach. Slowly, I turned his chair around to face him and locked onto his eyes that seemed more of a sapphire shade in the dim light.

I swallowed, and it occurred to me I may be truly fucked when it comes to Spencer and my safe walls. He was demolishing them brick by brick with the simplest of things. Whether I liked it or not.

“Guess we were caught red-handed, huh?” I reached up and tangled my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck. “No, I don’t think it’s lame, it’s something you're interested in, which makes it cool. You’ll have to let me watch you play sometime. Also, your apartment is really nice.”

“Sure, I’d like that, and thank you. I haven’t been in it long, so I’m still getting stuff put up and all, but it’s nice to have my own place and safe spot. I got everything I need, y’all ready?”

“Yep, we’re done snooping now!”

Turning all the lights off and heading to the car, we loaded up and drove back to my house. The windows were still down, and the wind was swirling the short strands of hair around my face. It was going to be a tangled mess that would be a pain in the ass to rake a brush through later.

Turning the music down, I reached over and intertwined our fingers. Our hands fit perfectly intertwined. Two puzzle pieces snapping together. I swallowed the rising fear of panic that tried to suffocate me at how at ease I was with him. How, instead of taking this at a slow and steady pace, I was about to start running headfirst.

My thoughts kept circling back to him and the bare walls of his apartment. I knew he said he only recently moved in, but it had me examining each interaction of ours under a new light. He already mentioned he had a rough childhood, no pictures even temporarily set out or stuck to the fridge, and he seemed hesitant to talk about his family. Feeling brave, I braced myself and outright asked.

“Tell me a little bit more about yourself. Maybe about your family…” Immediately, I could feel him tense up beneath me. “You can tell me anything you’re comfortable sharing. We don’t have to go into anything crazy deep yet if you don’t want to, Spence.” Another moment went by, and I thought maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

“Well, you did go into your childhood, so it’s only fair we swap trauma, I guess.” He let out a laugh. “Let’s see, I know I already mentioned previously I’m the middle child, and that my family is awful, but my parents weren’t good people. They would leave for days at a time, and we wouldn’t have much food, if any, no way to get to a store, and at that time, I was too young for a cellphone, so we only had the landline that would get shut off sometimes.” He released my hand and flexed his fingers out before settling them on my thigh. I turned to face him more, and I could barely make out the tick in his jaw. Letting out a deep, almost exhausted, sigh, he continued on.

“Even when they were home, it was awful. I was usually overlooked, which sucked, but I preferred it. Jason was the favorite, and as he grew up, he became more and more like our father. Just a total dick and mean for no reason. His picking on me went beyond the normal sibling stuff, especially if my parents weren’t around.” Spencer took a deep breath and squeezed my thigh, almost as if grounding himself.

We didn’t have much growing up, but we never had to worry about the power or food. At least from what I was aware of. Maybe my mom hid it better. She always made sure we had anything we needed because that’s what a parent does. Spencer’s voice cut through the trip down memory lane and brought me back to the present.

“My youngest brother, Andrew, was babied all the time due to some health issues when he was little. My mom did all his laundry, made his bed, cooked for him, everything. He ended up not doing anything for himself once he was older. I mean, like absolutely nothing. He’s only three years younger than me, aware of how awful my dad was to me, but he ignored anything that happened. When my dad did pay attention to me, it was usually because he was yelling at me or—” His voice cracked at the end, and he took a deep breath. I squeezed his hand and rubbed my thumb across the top to let him know to take all the time he needed and that I was here for him. “Or because he wanted to toughen me up and show me what a ‘real man’ was. My mom never did anything to stop it; she just let it happen. She’d either turn a blind eye or justify it in some way. Say he was only hitting on me, so I grew up okay, or some bullshit.” Spencer let out a shuddering breath before he continued once more.

“Come my senior year, I had had enough. At this point, I knew that the only way I’d get out was if I got a full-ride scholarship, and I was constantly studying so my grades were great. I was fucking exhausted from studying for exams one night, he came in drunk and tried to grab me, so I finally hit him back. My mom started crying and blaming me, so I grabbed everything I could and went to Carson. His family took me in without a second thought and let me stay till I left for college. How’s that for a backstory?”

Letting out a long sigh, he shook his head and gave my hand a squeeze. My heart physically ached for him and for that scared little boy. I squeezed his hand back and then pulled it to my mouth, placing small kisses on each of his knuckles to the phantom cuts that are no longer there. Anger raced through my veins at the thought of what he endured. How his mother could excuse the behavior and do nothing to protect him. They were all deplorable.

“Well, I’m glad you got at least one hit in, but I hate you couldn’t get more. You didn’t deserve what happened, and from what I can see, it’s your family's loss. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and respect you. Those who will protect you when it’s needed. Family isn’t always the one you’re born into; it can be the one you choose. It’s the one filled with people who would drop everything and be there for you. Who would give you the shirt off their back without asking for anything in return? Friends you meet when you’re young, or the ones you meet unexpectedly when you're older.” I turned, taking in his side profile, and I could see his throat bob. A few minutes later, we pulled into my garage. He killed the engine, but neither of us made a move to get out.

“I knew from a very young age I wanted to be nothing like them, and I didn’t want to stay there. We didn’t have money, so I studied my ass off for scholarships. I tried to talk to my brothers, but Jason didn’t see any issues, and Andrew didn’t care to change. They’d never be the ones to reach out first. Never asked how I was or if I needed anything, so I stopped. I stopped pouring into people who wouldn’t do the same for me.” He leaned back against the seat and turned his head toward me. “Hope that didn’t ruin the evening, sweetheart.” He gave me a watery smile, and I could feel the moment another wall crumbled down.