Page 52 of You Met Me There

The guilt hits me again like a tidal wave. I missed so much, and there are new things I’m finding out every day. Hardships my family had to face without me, while I was obliviously living my own life in Florida. I feel sick as my mind conjures an image of me tanning on the beach while my mom was in a hospital having surgery.

I clench my fists and shake my head. “Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

She scans my face for a few seconds but waves her hand again. “It’s fine. It was three years ago, and I’m totally healed now. I just try to be careful with that foot. It feels a little weaker than the other one, but I have exercises I do to keep it mobile. But getting on a horse? No, no.” She laughs. “That’s an activity for you young people. You two have fun tomorrow.”

I want to tell her I’m sorry for missing so much of her life—so much of everyone’s lives. But words don’t feel like enough. All I can do is be here now. And one day when I’m not crippled by my anxiety, maybe I’ll tell them how much I struggled being away from them too.

Would Mom think I deserve the nightmares? Would she say I wouldn’t be so anxious if I had stayed in Maple Lake with them?

Mom doesn’t say more on the matter of her foot. Dad hands a s’more to Archie, who takes it greedily in his hands and stuffs it into his mouth, filling his cheeks with a giant bite. When I turn to Luke, he has a reassuring smile for me.

“So”—Dad sits down, finished with s’more duty—“how’s the photography been coming along? I understand Jules has sent a lot of business your way between her friends.”

My eyes bounce to Juliet, but her eyes remain on Levi. “It’s going really well,” I say. “I had a couple shoots this past week, and there are some more planned for the next few weeks.”

“Are you taking family photos? Graduation pictures? What’s the most common?” Dad asks.

Archie hops off my lap and walks toward his dad with sticky fingers.

I watch him go. “Mostly family photos since I’ve been here.”

“Back in Florida, are your sessions usually of families?” Dad adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“I do family photos in Fort Lauderdale too, but I mostly do one-on-one shoots with individuals. It’s more niche.” Jules is watching me now, but she’s been quiet. “I’m a social media photographer,” I add.

“What’s that exactly?” asks Cam, maneuvering Archie onto his lap.

“People who have a large social media following, like those who make money through their content, usually want high-quality photos for their posts,” I explain. “I get hired for all kinds of stuff. First, we discuss what kind of content they share on their account and what they want the photos to look like. Then we plan out a session that showcases their niche.”

Juliet’s voice carries through the crackling of the flames. “What kind of content creators do you photograph?”

I’m surprised that she’s engaging with me, and a smile tugs at my lips. “All kinds. I’ve photographed models, a skateboarder on a half-pipe, artists in their workshops, lesser-known pop stars during a concert. And I do the typical engagement photos, too, because everyone wants to share those on social media, even if they don’t have a large following.”

Jules gives a tight-lipped smile. “Sounds busy.”

“It is, but I enjoy it. I love it, actually.”

“And she’s great at it,” Luke announces, always my cheerleader. “She’s one of the most sought-after photographers in the Miami area.”

Everyone’s eyes swing to me.

“Really?” Dad grins widely at me, his glasses reflecting the light of the fire. “That’s wonderful. We’re so proud of you, sweetheart.”

Mom nods. “So, so proud. It seems you’ve been doing well for yourself. We should have never worried.”

Jules stands abruptly. “It’s getting late. The kids need to get to bed.” She smiles at Luke as she passes. “Thanks for having us all over. Mom and Dad, you ready to go too?”

They all drove here together in Juliet’s SUV. Dad stands, stretching his arms as he does, and Mom yawns.

“We’re ready when you are,” says Dad.

I look around at my family as they disperse, cleaning up the beer cans and folding the lawn chairs. Jules and Mom grab what remains of the s’mores items, and the men carry the chairs up to the back porch. The cabin has a wraparound deck, which has been an absolute dream for drinking coffee outside in the mornings, but right now all I can think about is how empty I feel that they’re leaving.

When everything’s put away, we all walk around the deck to the front of the house. A flood light on the side of the cabin turns on, illuminating our path.

“Alright, boys, into the car.” Juliet stands by the car, guiding Levi and Archie up into their seats. “Get yourselves buckled in.”

I stand by her as everyone else says their goodbyes. “You’re welcome to come riding with me and Luke tomorrow … if you want,” I say, hoping she’ll say yes. I hate the tension that lingers between us.