Page 43 of You Met Me There

I nod, and he leans down, kissing my cheek. I turn my face toward his lips, my body pulling itself to him like the south pole of a magnet gliding toward its north counterpart. But before my lips reach his, he pulls back, smiling at me.

“I’ll see you soon.” And then he winks and walks out the back door.

A few days later, I’ve already taken photos of two families who live in Maple Lake, one of which wanted their session done at their gorgeous farmhouse. They just had a baby a few months ago and were ecstatic that I was in town to take an updated photo of their beautiful growing family.

I’ve been tiptoeing around Jules, being careful with everything I say. I’ve spent time at her house with Mom and Dad present, but I haven’t had the guts to discuss her reaction to me at the diner.

Mom slides up behind me in Juliet’s breakfast nook and rests a glass of water on the round table where I’ve been working. I’ve been coming over almost every day to see my parents and nephews, and, when the boys are otherwise engaged, I work on bookings, photo edits, and my social media posts. With my parents willing to help with the kids, Jules picked up a few extra hours at the hospital.

With a tired sigh, Mom sits on the chair beside me. “Archie is finally down for his nap. That boy is getting too old for naps, though. Any day now, he’ll be refusing to sleep. What are you working on?” She leans toward my laptop screen. “Oh, are these some of the photos you took this week?”

I smile at her. “Yeah. I did an in-home session for a family with a new baby. Aren’t they great?” I turn the screen toward her so she has a better view. “The baby was absolutely perfect. He slept the whole time. And the husband was surprisingly photogenic. It was a relief because the men don’t usually like photo shoots.”

“Well, Natalie, you’re not in the big city anymore. The people and the families here are different.” Rays of yellow sun stream through the window, exciting a mason jar full of lilies of the valley that acts as a centerpiece. I can almost see their little white bells turning toward the waves of light, seeking the nutrients that help them grow.

“What do you mean they’re different?” I ask my mom.

“People in small towns don’t take the little things—like family photos—for granted. The men here may be a little gruff at times, a little rough around the edges, but they sure know when they have a good thing. Look at Cam for example. He’s an outdoorsman through and through; he was even sort of a loner at one point. But he’d do anything for Jules and the boys now. Nothing is too much to stomach if it’s for his family. Not even family photos.” She chuckles and peers toward the window, where, outside, Cam throws a ball with Levi.

I lean back in my chair, staring at the family of four on my computer screen. The couple told me they’d been married only two years, and they were already celebrating the birth of their second child. A pit in my stomach opens, and I shove all my fear and my need to run away as far down into it as I can.

“How did you know Dad was the one for you?” I ask, turning to catch my mom’s expression.

She looks at me for a second as her blue eyes search my face. Her blonde ponytail that was once full and bright is thin and dull. And as tight as her ponytail is, it doesn’t change the fine wrinkles that line her eyes or the age spots that dot her soft cheeks.

“Your dad was thoughtful and patient,” she says. “He wasn’t brash or arrogant, and he always put me first. When we met in college, your father didn’t ask me out for months. He waited until we were friends first.” She shakes her head, smiling as she remembers. “Lots of boys ask girls out on a whim with no intentions of a real relationship. You know, just for fun, to have someone to hang out with or mess around with.” She makes a face that scrunches her nose. “But your dad wanted to be sure of us before there even was an us.”

It’s hard to imagine my parents young, and I certainly can’t imagine my dad as a college student asking girls out. Mom and Dad have always been my parents, in love and together. I’ve never even seen them fight. Never. In my reality, they’ve been together forever.

I stare at her. “How could he be sure of your relationship if it hadn’t been tested yet? If it hadn’t even begun?”

“Before he asked me out—when we were just becoming friends—he watched the things I did, listened to how I talked, and he anticipated what I needed. And when he stepped in to help or listen, he’d gauge how I reacted. All this without my even realizing he was doing it.”

“Like, he was testing you?” I frown.

“More like he was testing himself,” she states. My brows loosen.

“Your father wanted to see if we were compatible before entering into a relationship. He didn’t want to find out weeks or months into it that we didn’t work well together. He said it would have been a waste of time for both us when he knew exactly what he was looking for.” Mom’s smile is so warm, I can almost see the college girl who met my dad.

“Things seem like they were so different back then,” I say wistfully. “People got married, the guys didn’t mess around with girls’ feelings, and they started a family. There was intention. They had kids and settled down. People knew what they were getting into with a relationship … I wish things were still straightforward like that. Now, everything seems so confusing and complicated.”

“Kids might have been the next step after marriage when I was a newlywed, but it certainly wasn’t all easy, and it wasn’t right away. It took a while for us to have Tyler.”

“It did?” I thought my parents had had Tyler right away, and then Jules and me quickly after that. “Why did you guys wait to have kids?”

Mom takes a sip of water from her glass, watching the ducks on the lake across the yard. I follow her gaze.

When Mom turns back to me, there’s a look on her face that feels a lot like longing. “Your dad had put himself through a lot of work in college. He got his bachelor’s and then his master’s right after that. He wanted to settle down and have kids, but I didn’t want him to give up on all the hard work he’d done. I knew he always wanted to get his doctorate, but having kids wouldn’t have allowed him to do that.”

She exhales through her nose. “I wanted him to finish what he started. And I didn’t want him to give it all up just so he could be home for family dinners and help me tuck little ones into bed at night.” She squeezes her hands into fists and closes her eyes. “He was so smart—still is.” Her eyes soften when she looks at me, a sad smile tugging across her lips. “But he hated that I wouldn’t have kids with him until he finished his degree. He wanted to have it all, but I limited him to one commitment at a time. In my mind, it was either family or school, and there was no way to have both and evenly divide himself.”

“Did it cause problems for you two—you choosing that for him?” I ask, wondering how they made it through that.

Before now, I didn’t know I related to my dad in this way. Both of us have had this unquenchable craving to become parents, to have children, while our partners have told us no.

Mom nods solemnly. “It did. We fought a lot the year he started his doctoral program. But eventually I think he came to see that it would have been a hundred times harder with a baby. He didn’t like putting our future family aside for a few years, but it was totally worth it. I’m so proud of him for getting his PhD. And we still had plenty of years to chase toddlers and clean vomit off the carpet.” She laughs.

I smile at the comment, feeling like I’ve just met a part of my mom for the first time. Her life wasn’t straightforward or easy, and she made a huge decision when she put being a mom on the back burner.