Page 3 of You Met Me There

His shoulders slump as he pulls away from me, holding me at arm’s length. His eyes have turned three shades darker. “You should go, then. I want you to be happy, even if it kills me to see you leave.”

His words shock me, and I stumble back to look up at him. Pain swirls in the blue of his eyes like a whirlpool, and tears brim on the edge of his lower lids. I swipe at the tears that have fallen down my own cheeks and chin, using the back of my hand and wiping it dry on the hem of my tennis skirt. I still grip my bags tightly at my side.

“I can’t keep you here,” he says. His gaze makes contact with every part of my face, almost as if he’s memorizing it. “But I can let you go, if that’s what you want.”

I watch him with a pleading gaze. “What I want is a family. I want you to start that with me.” I can’t make him change his mind, but I can give him one last chance to change it himself before I step out that door.

He bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating as he searches my eyes. Then he gives one small, almost unnoticeable shake of his head. “I can’t do that.”

My bottom lip trembles. I stand tall, sling my shiny designer purse over my shoulder, and nod. “Okay then.”

I step around him, watching his hand flex at his side as I go. The bond we share is strong, like a physical force pulling us toward one another. I know the feeling he’s experiencing—the desire to reach out and touch his warm skin one more time. But I don’t.

With trembling hands, I stand the large suitcase on its wheels and roll it over the carpet and out of the bedroom. Luke doesn’t move. I can’t even tell if he’s breathing as I glance one last time at his back.

By the time I make it out to my car, my tears have silently gushed like waterfalls down my face. My vision blurs as I struggle with the suitcase, but I manage to lift it into the trunk. I climb into the car and reverse out of the massive driveway.

I always loved this house with its white stucco exterior framed by tall palm trees, and I loved the life I had here, until I came to see it for what it was: a placeholder. Luke can buy me pretty things, and we can pass our time in expensive beachfront homes, but I’ve finally realized it will never fill the empty space in my heart. And now I’m leaving for possibly the last time.

Luke doesn’t chase me out the door. He doesn’t follow my car down the driveway like they do in the movies, calling my name and running barefoot on the street until he’s out of breath.

I drive away with an ache in my heart, unsure if he even bothered to watch me go from the window.

Chapter 2

Luke

Iwatch her go. Not from the bedroom window where she left me, but from the kitchen window downstairs. I tried to follow her, but I only made it to the base of the staircase.

She’s right about everything, and she’s right to go. It’s best that she goes now, too, before more years of loving each other make it harder. I know she loves me. Her eyes told me so in every look she ever gave me. In every brush of her skin against mine, every moment we spent together. It was all saturated in love—so much of it that I thought we’d drown out the things that kept threatening to tear us apart.

Natalie has wanted children since the day we got married. And she’d make a great mother, I know she would. But it’s me who can’t stomach being a father. The world isn’t safe. And children are just so delicate. So dependent. I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. Natalie thinks having a baby is a sure thing, but I know it’s not. I’ve seen the harder side of it before.

And Natalie’s finally noticed that I probably won’t ever be ready to try.

Her white SUV backs slowly out of the driveway. My heart picks up speed, hoping she’ll change her mind.

“Turn around. Turn around. Look back at me,” I whisper, feeling my whole life slipping away. Without Natalie, I have no hope. No life. No future.

But the car shifts gears, red lights fading, and she drives slowly down the street. No brake lights. She doesn’t stop. And then she’s out of sight.

And I’m left with my empty house and broken heart.

Chapter 3

Natalie

Idon’t know where I’m going or if I made the right choice in leaving. Nothing in life is easy, but I’d wager leaving the man you love is the hardest choice anyone can make.

We had a good life together, me and Luke. He has a well-established job, he’s known and liked in the community, his family is one of the wealthiest in town, and of course he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Why would I be throwing that all away for a dream of being a mother?

I can’t quite say why. It’s difficult to describe the love you can feel so absolutely for a child you’ve never even met. A child that doesn’t even exist yet.

And somehow, in the most obscure shadows of my mind, I can understand the reasoning Luke has to not want kids. His family is a tight-knit group, much like mine is—was, before I messed that up. So it isn’t that he doesn’t like kids or that we wouldn’t have the means to raise one. We have more than plenty, and then some.

No, what Luke feels toward children isn’t a dislike. I ruminate on this as I hit my blinker and turn right onto the highway going north. Palm trees flash past me, and I have to squint against the setting sun as it shines across my face.

Luke doesn’t want kids because he thinks this world isn’t good for them. He’s right, of course. No world is good enough for a newborn baby. Sickness abounds and bad things happen. People aren’t all good and life is dangerous.