Page 62 of Substitute Bride

She knew the next day she would have to start to pull her life together, decide what she would do from here on out—whether she would find another nanny job or maybe, maybe see if she could start going to college. She could major in Education, like she always wanted. She could get student loans and take classes part-time. There was absolutely no reason not to do it.

But today she couldn’t even think about such a possibility, because the whole future seemed dark and bleak without James and the girls.

Surely she was allowed one day to hibernate before she had to start being strong.

So she was annoyed when she heard some noise from downstairs. It was after eight in the evening. Her grandmother or Kelly wouldn’t have visitors over this late. Maybe it was just a neighbor stopping by.

Either way, she wasn’t going to go down. She wasn’t going to see anyone. Not today.

Tomorrow would be a different story.

When she heard the knock on the door, she got out of bed with a surge of determination. If Kelly was expecting her to be strong tonight and visit with some old friend, she was just going to have to tell her sister off. It wasn’t going to happen.

Then she opened her door, and the first thing she saw was James—looking like a half-crazed Prince Charming.

He looked awkward and embarrassed and dryly self-deprecating, and the little girls in their pajamas were saying things that suddenly filled Rose’s heart with hope.

After all, James was carrying flowers. Surely they were for her. And he was here after dark just to look for her.

Maybe… maybe… maybe…

Neither she nor James said anything until the others made their way downstairs. Rose clutched at the flowers James had given her. There were way too many of them, and they were just awkwardly bunched together instead of prettily arranged.

She didn’t care though. One of the girls had obviously picked them, and James had given them to her.

“Hi,” James said after a moment of silence.

Rose dropped her eyes and then lifted them again. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

She cleared her throat. “I’m okay. What about you?”

It was a stupid conversation, but at least they were saying something. James’s eyes were devouring her face as if he were hungry for the least detail about her appearance.

Like he thought she was his and he was hers.

“I’m not okay,” he said, shaking his head with a dry chuckle. “I’m here in a top hat and jacket making a complete ass of myself.”

“I don’t think you’re an ass,” she said rather foolishly before she could stop herself.

His face softened palpably.

“Why are you here?” she asked, needing to know, although it was hard to think anything else at the moment. She still needed to hear the words.

So James said them. “Because I love you,” he said. “I’m crazy in love with you. And you left me. You left us.”

Rose just about burst into tears.

As she stood there twisting her face and breathing unevenly, James jumped into action. “Shit, please don’t cry, baby. That’ll be the end of me.” He put an arm around her and led her to the bed, where both of them sat down on the edge.

She managed to pull herself together. “Sorry,” she said, taking a few deep breaths. “I’m not crying.”

There were a few tears streaming down her cheeks, but she figured that didn’t really count.

“I’m sorry I left,” she managed to say, sniffing a little and turning to look at him. “I didn’t want to. I felt terrible. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know,” he said, reaching out to take her face in his hands. “I know, Rosie. It’s all my fault. I put us in a weird limbo place, and it wasn’t fair to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was just so afraid that taking that risk would mean I’d lose everything—for you and the girls. But that chance is so much better than not doing anything. I don’t want you to be the girls’ nanny anymore.”