Page 40 of Bitterness of Spirit

“Dear Jane, do you blame me for refusing him? Marrying him would ensure an excellent situation and a safe future for all of us. Have I been selfish?”

“Blame you! Oh, no. I could never call you selfish, dearest.”

“But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham.”

“No—I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did.”

“But you will know it when I have told you what happened the very next day.”

Elizabeth then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents regarding George Wickham. It was a terrible stroke for poor Jane, who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in one man.

“Lizzy, this is so shocking. Can it be true? How horrible! Cannot it be a mistake? Some misunderstanding?”

“No misunderstanding and no mistake. Everything is clear now. There is only one good gentleman between the two, and I am inclined to believe it is Mr. Darcy.”

“I do not doubt Mr. Darcy, but…I have not been so shocked in years. Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief. And poor Mr. Darcy, what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment! And having to relate such a thing of his sister despite the knowledge of your ill opinion too! It is really too distressing.”

“I know, Jane. I confess I cried—a lot—from anger with myself and with Wickham. I have been such a fool. And I accused Mr. Darcy with such stupid self-confidence!”

“Do not blame yourself so harshly, Lizzy. How could you have known? There is such an expression of goodness in Mr. Wickham’s countenance—such an openness and gentleness in his manner!”

“There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men. One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it. And as a complete simpleton, I saw them completely wrong, and my arrogance strengthened my miscomprehension.”

“I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you used to do, Lizzy.”

“Because you are wise and careful with your judgements—and bright and kind and generous, my dearest Jane. I meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him without any reason.”

“Lizzy, when you first read that letter, I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now.”

“Indeed, I could not. I was very uncomfortable and unhappy, as I knew I had been so very weak and vain and nonsensical!”

“Lizzy, please cease this self-blame. But I agree it was unfortunate that you used such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy, for now they do appear wholly undeserved.”

“Certainly. But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness of spirit is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been encouraging.”

“You are not prejudiced, Lizzy.”

“With Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham, I was. And there is one point on which I want your advice. Should I make our acquaintance, in general, understand Wickham’s character?”

Jane paused a little before she said, “Surely, there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion?”

“That it ought not to be attempted. Mr. Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. On the contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself.”

“Then the decision is already made.”

“But if I meet Mr. Wickham again, he will hear something from me, I assure you—something that will not betray Mr. Darcy’s confidence but will let Wickham have a piece of my mind!”

“I know I cannot change your mind, Lizzy. Just be careful. He is now, perhaps, sorry for what he has done, and anxious to re-establish his character. We must not make him desperate.”

“That I cannot believe, Jane. If so, he would not publicly spread all those abominable lies about his godfather’s son. Oh, just wait ’til Mr. Wilson hears about this! He was already displeased with Wickham’s behaviour at Longbourn; I cannot imagine what he would do if he ever heard the truth.”

“Dear Lizzy, let us not involve Mr. Wilson. He is a kind, generous, gentleman with us, but I fear he is not a man to trifle with or to risk his anger. But he is an extraordinary man, and our aunt is so happy to be around him. Oh, and I have some news. Papa will come to Town with our sisters. Mr. Wilson invited them for the rest of the Season. There are so many performances of theatre and opera…and Mr. Wilson wishes to host several parties and balls. Do you know he is well acquainted with the duke? He might be invited too—can you imagine?”

“Papa will come to Town? And Lydia and Mary and Kitty? That is wonderful news indeed.”

“Yes, in three or four day’s time.”

The discussion continued for another hour, moving from Mr. Darcy to Lady Catherine, the Collinses to Mr. Wilson and to their family.