Page 126 of Not a Fine Gentleman

She might not return for months. Or ever. Tarrington House had been a safe harbor when the storms of life had left her battered and drowning. The time had come to sail out into the ocean of discovery. She smoothed down the skirts of her red, unadorned traveling ensemble and put on her bonnet. After saying goodbye to the housekeeper who would care for the house in the family’s absence, Margaret went outside.

Dressed in her traveling costume that brought out the blue in her eyes, Rachel grinned at her. “We’re going to see wonderful new places.”

Margaret wanted to smile for Rachel’s sake but didn’t have it in her. “Bless Father for negotiating the marriage settlement so we can make this trip. I had no idea how well set up I’d be as a widow.” With a trace of dark humor, she added, “Perhaps that was just as well, or I might have poisoned Hennessy years ago.”

Rachel choked and laughed. “I might have, too, to spare you years of misery.”

They boarded the carriage and settled onto the cushions. Margaret stared out of the window without truly seeing anything.

Rachel took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “We are going to have a grand time, filled with so many wondrous diversions that we will forget all about those pigs who don’t deserve a place in our hearts or thoughts.”

While Margaret tried to look excited, or at least interested, Rachel speculated on all their upcoming adventures as they traveled to the harbor where sea vessels bobbed in the Thames. At the busy dock, they waited while their trunks and luggage were unloaded and placed in the right location to be loaded onto Jared’s yacht. Men wearing tattered shirts, or no shirts, carried barrels and crates onto the many gangplanks leading to a number of different shapes and sizes of watercraft. Smells of fish, tar, and tobacco coming from the river and ships’ cargo blended together.

The clouds hung just out of reach but dark enough to cast a pall over the scene. Connor would probably say it looked like rain, when, in fact, it was just gloom. But she refused to think of him.

“Which one is Jared’s new yacht?” Rachel asked.

Margaret looked around at the many masts and lines for a name. “There.” She pointed at a yacht with a dark green stripe running down its length, and a figurehead of Poseidon gracing the bow. “The Elise.”

Rachel nodded. “I’m excited to see his boat. It was kind of him to take us on its maiden voyage so we wouldn’t have to travel overland to Dover and take a packet.”

“Don’t let him hear you call his beloved yacht a boat,” Margaret said.

“I might, just to annoy him.” Rachel grinned.

Suddenly apprehensive, Margaret held back. What was she thinking, leaving behind everything and everyone that she knew except Rachel? Jared and his family would only be with them as far as Calais. After that, she and Rachel would be on their own. She would be gone for months or even years, away from her family, from her beloved England, living a nomadic life.

Would it heal her heart or only remove her from her family?

Jared trotted up to them, grinning. He’d cast off his cravat and unfastened the buttons of his shirt. Hatless and tousled, not to mention sans parts of the attire every polite gentleman normally wore, he looked more carefree than she’d seen him in months. His eyes glittered with anticipation.

“My crew will see to your trunks.” He gestured to the boxes and trunks, one of which was already being hoisted aboard. “Right this way.”

He bowed and gestured to his trim watercraft. From the deck of the Elise, Jared’s wife, the ship’s namesake, waved. Her darling son, Colin, was climbing the rigging out of his mother’s sight.

Rachel linked her arm through Margaret’s and said, “Are you ready to start a new life?”

“Yes,” Margaret said firmly. She waved to Elise and forced her lips into a smile. “Yes, I am.”

They marched to the Elise and walked up the narrow gangplank.

“Welcome aboard,” Jared said proudly.

Onboard the bobbing vessel, Margaret adjusted her feet and posture to the sensation of a moving deck and looked over the yacht. “She’s a lovely craft.”

The sun peeked out of a cloud, and the water glittered as if promising a wealth of adventure.

Elise smiled. “I’m so happy you’re coming with us on her maiden voyage.”

“Thank you for taking us,” Margaret said.

“We have some details to see to, but we’ll join you here when we set sail,” Jared said.

Margaret nodded and leaned on the railing. Workers and passengers milled about, each on their own paths, some talking, others laughing. Urchins and a few dogs rushed about.

She turned her head to follow the Thames winding in both directions. One way led deeper into England. The other way led to a new adventure. A cloud slipped over the sun again, darkening the landscape.

Margaret took another long look at England. Truth be told, it was leaving behind Connor that sapped her courage. As long as she remained here, there was still a chance that they might one day be together. If she left, that chance would vanish.

Who was she trying to fool? They had no chance. She’d rolled all her dice and lost everything. He didn’t want her.

A trip abroad would be good for her. She’d fill her mind and her heart with new experiences that would push back all those bad memories—years of unhappiness married to Hennessy, her recent harrowing frights, Connor’s rejection—and replace them. It would have to be enough.

Perhaps this emptiness would not consume her forever.