Page 123 of Not a Fine Gentleman

“You let us go?”

Arlington’s visible defeat added another layer of humanity to the man Connor had been so determined to despise. “I was more concerned about myself and my pride than about her happiness. Besides, I thought she’d be back.” Softer, he added, “I should have known an independent woman with an equally fierce temper would not have simply returned home to be neglected by her husband and abused by her in-laws.”

A long moment passed, with only the ticking of the clock to break the silence.

“She never went back,” Connor supplied.

Arlington gave a weary shake of his head. “Many years later, she told me she’d hoped I would go after her, to declare my love and to promise to protect her from my family—to stand up for her.”

“It seems a reasonable desire,” Connor said.

Is that what Margaret wanted? Did she expect Connor to fight for her?

“I was too wrapped up in my own pride to see it,” Arlington said. “As time passed, she assumed I’d decided that marrying the orphaned daughter of a poor country squire was beneath me and that I was glad to be rid of her. It wasn’t true, of course, but we were both so stubborn and angry, and later thought separating was best.”

“Do you regret it?” Connor looked up and met a pair of tortured eyes.

“Every day of my life. If I’d had more faith in her, in us, I would have gone after her and worked out our troubles.”

Connor stared at the floor without seeing it, the story playing out in his imagination as his father had described it. Had he unknowingly played the same part that his mother had—leaving behind what mattered most?

Arlington picked up his narrative. “Then it happened, I received a letter from her demanding an annulment. She even agreed to swear that she’d been unfaithful, that you were another man’s child, so Parliament would grant us an annulment.” He shook his head and made a helpless gesture.

Connor sank back against the chair, suddenly too tired to even sit upright.

Lord Arlington continued, “If I’d been a man of substance, I would have gone after her, begged her to take me back, and taken her away where none of my relations could harm her. I would have raised you as our legitimate son and my heir. Our lives would have been better in so many ways.”

The clock ticked, and outside, voices rose and fell.

Arlington spoke from a depth of pain. “I hope you never give up on love because you let your pride get in the way. Don’t back down from the challenges that come with nurturing a meaningful relationship.”

Connor turned over his father’s words. He’d never backed down from a challenge before. Was he backing down from the most meaningful challenge of his life by not pursuing a life with Meg?

His father picked up a curled scrap of paper that had been tucked in the center of the page near the binding and placed it over the area where Connor and his mother’s names had been listed. Other names were listed there. It must have been pasted over Connor’s and his mother’s names.

In a hushed voice, Lord Arlington said, “I eventually married a woman of whom my family approved. She had the right breeding and the right connections, and a substantial dowry. Eventually, she bore me a daughter and two sons. I wish I could say I loved her. But I guess there was only room in my heart for your mother.” Lord Arlington sank his head into his hands. “Letting Aideen go was the worst mistake I ever made. I regret losing her. And you. I should have fought for you both and never given up on us until she agreed to return to me. You both paid for my mistakes.”

Was this a lesson for Connor, as well? Would he live all his life mired in regret that he’d let Margaret go?

He truly loved her. His throat thickened, and he coughed to clear it. He had made a horrible mistake. And he must correct it. If she rejected him, he would persist. Did he dare try to enter her world? Or bring her to his? They must answer that question together. If she would have him.

His father sat up and fixed a pair of tortured eyes on him. “I regret that there is nothing I can legally do for you that will undo the egregious wrongs I did you when you were a child. I hope you don’t make the same mistakes I made—that you won’t let pride or fear rule your life.” Quietly he added, “That you’ll listen to your heart.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

His father waited, as if hoping Connor would confide in him, but he was too much a stranger. Finally, Arlington added, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, so I’m not asking for that. But I do want to be a part of your life. Would you be opposed to having dinner or drinks with me from time to time?”

Connor thought it over. Yes, his parents had made terrible, life-altering mistakes, but holding onto a grudge had done Connor no good. Perhaps it was time to shrug off the burden of bitterness and blame.

Thoughtfully, Connor nodded. “I have no objection. In fact, I would like that.”

Arlington let out a long breath as if releasing pent up tension. “Thank you.”

Connor nodded. “Thank you, sir, for continuing to reach out to me. I apologize that I’ve been so ungracious when you tried in the past.”

Arlington waved that away. “I would have done the same thing.”

They exchanged, if not smiles, at least friendly expressions. Connor’s thoughts wandered back to Margaret. She would be happy he had met with his father and had engaged him in friendly conversation.