Page 18 of Blurred Boundaries

11

TAJ

—Too Good at Goodbyes

by Sam Smith

It doesn’t take long before I’ve shown Mike most of the popular spots in Prague.

Meeting him on Saturdays has become a routine. I start looking forward to it more than I probably should. It’s the one day I know I’ll get to spend time with him without having to pretend he’s just my professor. When we’re out together, he’s different. He’s more relaxed, less guarded. It suits him. I love that I get to see parts of him that he keeps hidden in school. I like it more than I expected to . . . but I also know I’m making things harder for myself.

Spending time with him like this hasn’t made my attraction to him go away. If anything, it makes it worse. I haven’t stopped wanting him, not even a little. I’m hyper-aware of it every time we’re close. So, what if I need to pump my dick until the skin is about to peel off after each hangout? At least, I can be around him.

I also love that we talk a lot when we’re out, that our conversations can move from one thing to another easily. We’ve shared stories about our lives—though he definitely has more to share since he is ancient and all. But he never seems to mind when I remind him of that. I’ve learned about his childhood, his time as an undergraduate in Nigeria, and all the shenanigans he got into with Roland.

The days blur into each other. Before I know it, weeks have passed and December is already here. I knew from the start that my time with him was limited. He’s only here for a year. But it feels different now—like time is moving faster than I want it to. In the beginning, I was just drawn to him; I was attracted to him, plain and simple. And I didn’t care about anything other than getting him beneath me. But now it’s more than that. Somewhere along the way, we developed a genuine connection and a friendship. (I still want to fuck him, though, just so it’s on record.)

We’re walking through the Christmas market today. The place is busy and loud around us; lights are strung up everywhere and people in thick coats are moving past us.

Mike stops at a hotdog stand, looking over the options for a moment before pointing to the one he wants. “Dva,” he says.

“Whoa. Look who’s speaking Czech.”

He smiles, a little shy about it. “I’ve been learning the numbers. But damn, it’s hard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I nudge my shoulder against his. “I can teach you.”

“But it won’t be a surprise,” he nudges back, still looking a bit pleased with himself.

I press a hand to my chest, then slide the other around his waist, pulling him closer to me. “Consider me surprised.”

I keep my arm around him while waiting for the hotdogs, enjoying the way I fit against him. I can feel the warmth of him even through all the layers. It’s enough to make me want more. I want to feel his skin under my hand, but that’s not happening with his coat on. Still, that only leads me to fantasising about what it would be like to remove those layers one by one.

I tighten my hold on him when I notice a few people looking in his direction. It’s something I’ve come to expect whenever we go out together, though he doesn’t seem to notice it at all. Or if he does, he never reacts to it.

Soon enough, we’re walking again, eating our hotdogs as we make our way towards Old Town Square, off to see the Christmas tree the city puts up every year. It’s even more crowded there, filled with people moving in different directions, the lights above making everything feel a little warmer despite the cold.

When we get close to the Astronomical Clock, he stops and looks up. “Is this a replica of Big Ben?”

I roll my eyes. “Big Ben wishes. This came first.”

“No kidding,” he says, reaching into his pocket for his phone. “I need to check this.”

He scrolls for a moment, then nods to himself before making a face, obviously not too happy about being wrong. He then steps in front of the clock and hands me his phone so I can take his picture. It takes a bit of time to get a clear shot because of the sheer amount of people around, but I manage it in the end.

When he returns to my side, he casually swings an arm over my shoulder and around my neck, pulling me in so he can take a selfie. After that, we continue towards the tree. I end up taking a few more pictures of him while he moves around. Before I can turn for us to leave, he suddenly stops someone passing by and hands over his phone.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but could you kindly take some pictures for us?”

I blink at him, a bit caught off guard, but I take my place beside him anyway. The stranger starts taking picture after picture of us. We’re standing close enough that I can feel his arm brushing mine. We both thank the man after he hands the phone back, and then we start moving through the crowd again, trying to make our way out of the busy square. We’ve only taken a few steps when Mike slows down. I almost walk into him, belatedly realising we’re holding hands.

“Wow,” he exhales, lifting his phone.

I take it from him and look at the screen. For the next few seconds, I forget everything else around us. Wow, indeed. I stare at our picture on the screen. We look good next to each other. Scratch that, we look more than good. We look like a couple. The scarves wrapped around our necks are both red and we both have black coats on. It’s like we’d planned to match. But what has my heart going haywire is the way he’s looking at me. There’s something in his expression that’s hard to ignore. Something soft, something that feels a little too honest. I’ve always known that he wanted me, but seeing it this way does something to me.

“Do you want to come over to my place?” I blurt out, my eyes still resolutely on the picture.

It’s the tone of his voice that makes me look up at him. “Taj.”