Page 21 of The Alpha and His Song: Volume One

Rex said, “I’ll get his picture then.” I knew he has ways to do that. Rex offered, “You can stay with us if he’s bothering you or you’re worried about your mom coming home.” I laughed, putting him at ease, “Don’t worry if my mom’s new boyfriend is already tired of her, that would be a record. Besides, she never comes home for the holidays.”

Rex warned, “We’ll sniff you out if you don’t show.” I teased, “Odd wording, but ok since we are book nerds who like fantasy. Keeping with the pack references is oddly comforting.” Rex smirked, but he had no way of knowing how him keeping that going made me feel.

Hell, I didn’t either but it meant a lot to me for some reason. I walked away muttering, “Sniff me out. That was a good one.” I heard Rex chuckle. Today was really strange. Not that I didn’t meet kids that said stuff like this all the time, I did. They were in every high school I went to.

I flashed back to the moment I heard the voice I had just told Rex about. Tatum. I know it was because I was tired of taking my pills and didn’t the day before. On my birthday I was going to take them, but I never got the chance.

The honest truth was I still missed Tatum. Our encounter was brief and it meant I was literally crazy, but I felt like she was an old soul or something. It should’ve scared me, but it didn’t. I felt as if a missing piece of me fell into place. The following events still confuse me.

To this day, I still had no idea what Luke was talking about regarding my disease and Alpha’s. Having a low white blood cell count did not lead to hearing voices. I rubbed my wrists thinking about when I woke up.

I was told it was a mental health facility. For some reason my arms and wrists tied down. No one would tell me what was going on. The people there actually looked like they felt bad for me. I spent three days there crying and all alone.

I even tried to talk to Tatum again. She felt like a friend. It was at that point I admitted, I might be crazy. Then I was unrestrained and pushed outside by a creepy looking lady who felt familiar somehow. I always took my pills after that because I never wanted to be put in that place again.

Maybe when I turned eighteen, I could go off them. I’d be responsible for myself and nobody else could just force me to do things I didn’t consent to. Luke was still convinced I was overreacting by breaking up with him.

Well according to the note he left, after the kiss with the kid in the hospital. Luke was wrong though. If he had loved me, my ex would’ve explained he wanted me to get help instead of hurting me that night. As crazy as it was, I’d seen many relationships throughout the high schools I’d attended between juniors and seniors like Roxie and her boyfriend. They loved each other.

I knew without a doubt Kaiser would do anything for Roxie and she would do the same. Kaiser wouldn’t even throw a dodgeball at Roxie when they were on opposing teams in gym class. Was it so wrong I wanted someone to love me the way he loved Roxie? I didn’t really have a good example other than the teenagers I saw across the country.

I did have some stories my older brother told me. Lux told me about how his dad was with his stepmom. It seemed like a fairytale. I was definitely not going to model my relationships after my mom’s boyfriends. Some were handsy jerks.

Then some looked like they aged twenty years from being with my mom for a few months. I understood those guys. Mom was a lot to deal with. If I could dump her, I would. I’d considered emancipation several times, but then my mom’s boyfriend's wouldn’t pay for my apartment.

I barely made enough to cover utilities and food. I couldn’t afford rent since I wasn’t back in Nashville. Melanie would’ve helped me, and I’d invested some money with her. She was a literal genius, so I might have some money now.

For now, I had to be practical. Once I turned eighteen, I’d leave the second mom left me alone. There was nothing she could do at this point. I’d left once when I was fifteen and the cops tracked me down. They called me a runaway.

I told them they didn’t do their job and help me. They’d called CPS, but mom shoved horror stories in my face. She and I left and changed our names before they could do anything. No one helps someone like me anyway. Having Thanksgiving with some acquaintances would be nice though.

When the final bell rang, I was ready to go. I waved to Roxie and her boyfriend. She ran over to me and handed me printed out directions to her house. I smiled sincerely grateful, “Thanks, Roxie. I’ll see you for lunch.” She nodded, “We’ll be expecting you. I can’t wait.” Ok?

I shrugged at Roxie and left. I spent my first day of break working. I emailed my mom asking if she was coming home for Thanksgiving. I didn’t know why I was bothering to ask really considering mom didn’t care about the holidays.

If it weren’t for Lux, I wouldn’t know that most people get presents on Christmas. I hadn’t gotten one since my last Christmas with Lux. He bought me a small teddy bear. I’d managed to keep it all these years. Which was silly but it meant so much to me.

The facts were people always leave me or I’m forced to leave them behind. I didn’t actually begrudge Lux his ability to get away from our mom. If I knew my dad, I’d do the same. I just wished I knew how to find my brother. Not knowing his last name was really unhelpful.

I thought Lux was a unique enough name. Sadly, I was wrong. There were a lot of people with that name in Tennessee, where I was born and lived for several years. I knew Lux’s dad lived in Tennessee in the past. It was maddening.

Flashback

Odette had waited. Mom was finally gone and I was going to find Lux. I’d taken that big book with numbers so an adult could help me call him. Mommy said he wanted nothing to do with us anymore, but that couldn’t be true. Her, sure. Me? No. Lux was my best friend and my big brother.

I was scared in this place without my brother. Mom’s new boyfriend made me show him my underwear. Lux would’ve growled at him. I grabbed the book of numbers and my teddy bear from my brother and marched outside.

I ran to the first person I saw asking her, “Do you know how to find someone in this?” I held up the book of numbers. The woman replied, “Well, aren’t you adorable. You have the wrong state there, sweetie.”

I explained, “No, my brother is in this book. His dad just got custody and…” The woman winced cutting me off to ask, “How old is your brother?” I knew that answer. “He’s sixteen. He’s my bestest and only friend. I just want to talk to him. I miss Gator.” I’d called him that because he snapped and growled at people. It was funny.

The woman patiently asked, “Sweetie, do you know his last name? He won’t be in this book.” What? I started crying, “He said everyone was in this book.” The woman explained, “Adults are in the book.” I admitted, “I don’t know his last name, but his name is Lux.”

The woman whispered, “I’m so sorry, Sweetie. We can’t find a sixteen year old in that book with a first name.” I nodded as tears fell down my cheeks then ran back to the apartment I was living in now and sobbed.

I cried, “Lux, come back! Please just come back! I’ll make my own pancakes!” I threw the book shouted, “You’re not helpful! I thought you’d bring him back to me.” I dropped to my knees and cried my heart out.

Flashback Ends