Page 2 of The Alpha and His Song: Volume One

I raised a glass to the bartender who came over and announced, “The woman who sat next to you told us her drinks were on you.” I shrugged, “I don’t care.” I had the money to pay because I was rich. My phone was ringing so I checked the caller I.D. Eric was calling.

I turned my phone off, sighed, and put my head on the bar. The bartender commented, “It’s none of my business, but that woman is a maneater. I’d steer clear of her, she’s trouble.” I told him, “I have no intention of doing anything with her. I can’t imagine being with anyone but Cassandra. I’ve been with her since I was nineteen years old. It’s too soon to even think about that.”

Truthfully it would always be too soon. Who could think of sex when every time Cassandra was in the mood, she stared at me as if it was a chore? I was tired of being a check on the to do list. I wanted passion and to see the raw need for me in someone’s eyes.

Besides, it cut me deep in my heart to even think about being with someone else. I drank more and then made my way outside. I hadn’t brought a car with me or Eric would’ve tracked it. I’m lucky my daughter in law was probably keeping Eric calm about not knowing my location.

Haley had popped to me a few times to make sure I was ok. Eric must not have asked her to tonight because I hadn’t seen her. Herb said, “Our daughter in law respects our boundaries.” Because Haley was a good person.

I stumbled into the forest, laid down, and looked at the sky. I yelled, “Gardening, Cassandra?! You left me over that damn garden. Woman, you couldn’t garden if your life depended on it and you know it.” I paused when nothing happened.

I snorted, “Figures. You had to go off and leave me after all the work we did to stay together. Was it even for us at the end? Or was it our wolves? I don’t know why I even expect you to answer. I miss you, and I can’t believe it.”

“I miss you and I don’t because you were mean to everyone, including me. I do miss waking up and smelling you. Your scent has faded on your things. It’s not the first thing I smell when I wake up anymore and I’m drowning.”

“You were the one who dragged me up when I was drowning in hatred from my dad, and now I’m alone. We were together for most of my life, but anytime I reach for you you’re just gone. I turn to say something to you and there’s no one standing behind me.”

“Do you even know how integral you were in my life? Did you care? For god’s sake, gardening tools and supplies. That boy at the store told me he offered to drive you home, but you said no. Why did you say no?”

“Why did you leave me? Hell, why did you hate me at the end when I worked so damn hard to be with you? You never met me even halfway to save us. I fought tooth and nail, and you left me for that damn garden.”

A throat cleared behind me and I sighed. It was probably one of Tucker’s Warriors. Then the scent of cherries hit me. I jumped, “Cassandra.” There she was standing a few feet from me. Herb purred in my head.

I cried, “Cassandra. How are you here? I…” I trailed off when she pulled me to her and whispered, “Shhh. I’m here now.” Her eyes were tender, in caring in a way they hadn’t been in decades. I cried into her neck, “God, I’ve missed you.”

I truly had missed this version of my mate that didn’t calculate or look at me like I’d ruined her life. I nibbled on her neck and to my surprise she moaned. It didn’t sound right, but I didn’t care. Cassandra was here and not pushing me away or looking at me with distain.

I lost myself in her and made love to her all night. I didn’t even care when the sun came up. I was afraid the moment my eyes closed it would all be a dream. I fought sleep until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

I vaguely heard, “I told you what I want always happens. Thank you, Nathan Conners.” I snorted because Cassandra was a force of nature, but she didn’t always get her way. In fact, lately she never did and she made sure all of us felt like shit about it. Where had I heard that line before though? Had someone said that to me tonight?

I woke up to a gentle voice, “Nathan.” I sat up and looked around noting I was still in a forest. I asked, “Cassandra?” My daughter in law replied, “No, it’s Haley.” I looked up asking, “Where did she go? She was here.” Haley frowned, “Nathan, Cassandra passed away in the car accident.”

My eyes filled with tears, “Yes, I know that but she was here. I swear she was. These are not the clothes I was wearing.” Haley reasoned, “You must have shifted. You weren’t wearing clothes when I got here. I snapped you clean and into new clothes.”

I didn’t shift. Did I? I rubbed my temples saying, “It was so real. Cassandra was here; I know it.” Haley told me, “I didn’t see anyone else here when I got here, but that doesn’t mean someone else wasn’t here.” I could tell my daughter in law just didn’t think it was Cassandra. She couldn’t smell the faint scent of cherries like I could.

Haley asked, “Can I take you home, dad?” I sighed, “What for?” Haley squeezed my shoulder answering, “Because your sons and grandchildren fucking miss you. So do you daughters in law. All your things were moved back into your wing in the house. I can charm the place to smell like cherries if that will help you.”

I smiled at her, because Haley was truly the most considerate person alive. I agreed, “Maybe just Cassandra’s pillow. I can’t sleep without her scent.” Haley gave me a hug while saying, “I can do that for you. I’m so sorry.” She chanted under breath, granting me the peace of the earth.

My daughter in law grabbed me and popped me back to my wing. Eric was there, waiting. My son’s eyes were tight with worry. Haley squeezed my hand and conjured my pillow. She spoke in Fealish again then handed me my pillow.

The scent of cherries hit me again and the tears fell from my eyes. I whispered, “Thank you, Haley.” My daughter in law smiled at me, popped to Eric, gave him a kiss on the cheek then said, “Be nice. He’s hurting.” Eric nodded and she popped away.

Eric sighed, “Dad.” I cut off whatever he was going to say, “I promise I was with her, Eric.” Eric frowned asking, “What do you mean?” I explained, “I was going to come home then I swear to you that your mother was with me, son. We were together one last time.”

Eric shrugged, “Stranger things have happened in our lives. You were pretty drunk though.” I nodded. My son somewhat begged, “Please don’t slip the Warriors watching you, dad. I know you can, but we are worried. I can’t imagine your pain, and frankly I don’t want to. We still need to know where you are.”

I scoffed, “I’m a grown man.” Eric gritted his teeth, “A grown man who gets fall down drunk to the point several of my friends, and yours, have picked you up off the floor. You couldn’t fight off an attack if you wanted to. We can’t lose you too, dad.”

I felt bad for worrying him. I assured him, “You won’t lose me, Eric.” My son looked at me with pain in his eyes as he reiterated, “I can’t lose you too, dad. Just let the Warriors follow you.” I sighed, “Alright.” Eric sat down and whispered, “Thank you.”

I asked, “What’s wrong other than the obvious?” Eric admitted, “I didn’t like mom anymore. I miss the person she used to be, not the woman she turned into after Haley. I’m not sad that woman is gone, and I feel like shit about it.”

I hugged him admitting, “Your mother was a difficult woman. She didn’t make anyone’s life easier these last eight years. She hurt your pups. Hell, she hurt mine, and I struggle with that. I struggled with that while she was alive.”

I acknowledged, “I miss her and the way she used to be. That doesn’t mean her actions while she was here don’t still hurt or sting. Honestly, I don’t know how to forgive her for leaving me for that damn garden.”