Page 64 of Book Bae

“No.”

“Because you’re so damn worth it. You make me happy, Myraj, happier than I’ve ever been. Since the day that I met you, all you’ve brought was sunshine in my life, and I’m so thankful for you.”

“I’m thankful for you, baby. How can I ever show that?”

“Just let me love you.” He climbed in the bed beside me and pulled me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest as we reclined in silence. I wondered what it would take for him to be completely healed from his past and if he’d ever be ready for marriage again. I knew that if he and I were to marry, it would last forever.

SEPTEMBER – ONE MONTH LATER

“We’re in this life together and nothing will ever separate us, Beanie. You feel me? Touch my heart. That shit beats for you and you alone, baby.” –Heart of Stone, MJ Stone

I watched as the female EMT worker pressed a padded tongue blade between Myraj’s teeth and suctioned her mouth. She and the male EMT worked quickly and efficiently and talked quietly amongst themselves.

“What’s that?” I asked when they administered medicine via an IV into her arm.

“This is magnesium sulfate. It will stop the seizures. We will give her hydralazine to rapidly lower her blood pressure in a few minutes. Her blood pressure is heading into a hypertensive emergency level,” the female EMT worker who introduced herself as Essence, explained.

“Come on, let’s flip her on the count of three,” the male EMT worker, who was introduced as Christian, instructed.

I watched as they flipped her on her left side to protect her airway and prevent aspiration just before they gave her oxygen.

“Is she going to be okay?” I demanded, rushing behind the EMT workers.

“We’re doing everything that we can, Mr. Livingstone,” Christian stated.

“What about my baby? How is she doing?”

“Let us work on her, and we’ll be able to tell you more soon,” Essence replied.

“Sir, you’re not going to be able to get in the ambulance with her,” Christian commented.

“You got me fucked up if you think I’m leaving her side!” Anger and fear warred within me over Myraj’s condition. She hadn’t been feeling well for a couple of days, and she had complained about having a headache since last night. Through the night, I noticed her feet and hands swelling, but she said she thought it was because she had been outside a little longer than usual. She had insisted on spending an hour outside yesterday, and I had foolishly allowed her to.

When she woke up this morning complaining of her blurred vision, I immediately dialed her doctor and then called 911.

“Chris, let him ride,” Essence stated, resting her hand on his arm.

Christian’s jaw clenched. “You can ride, man, but please, don’t get in the way of us doing our jobs.”

“I won’t. Just make sure—make sure she’s good,” I pleaded through a clogged throat as Mai came up to me with Malachi in her arms.

“He wanted to say goodbye to you,” she stated.

When she initially passed out, Malachi had been in the room. I had held him close to me while calling for Mai, and I kissed him repeatedly, assuring him that Myraj would be okay, when I wasn’t even sure of it. I told him that she was so tired that she had fallen asleep. Luckily, she had been in bed when she passed out, and the seizures hadn’t started until long after he left the room.

Mai had come in and quickly taken him away and calmed him down. I hadn’t left Myraj’s side since she passed out, and this was my first time seeing my little guy again. I knew that he was in good hands with Mai.

I took him from her arms and hugged him tight. “I love you, li’l man. I’m going to the hospital to make sure that Myraj gets the rest she needs, make sure her and the baby are healthy, and then we’ll be coming home to you soon, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

I kissed him again and squeezed him tightly to me. “God, I love you so much,” I muttered through clenched teeth.

My chest squeezed tight with love for my little guy. I didn’t think I had the capacity to love anyone the way that I loved him, but now I had another little one on the way. I prayed that she and Myraj made it. I would be ruined if anything happened to either of them.

“Micaiah, I can drive your car to the hospital and follow the ambulance. I’ll have my boyfriend meet me there and bring me back to my car,” Mai suggested.

“Thanks, Mai.”