Page 5 of Book Bae

My older brother, DJ, was three years older than me and had been married to his wife, Terri, for thirteen years, with a son and daughter, and he was still in love with her. My baby brother, Blake, was two years younger than me, and he had been married to his best friend for ten years. They had been best friends since they were sixteen. Despite going off to college and getting steeped in their careers, they remained committed to one another and made their relationship a priority.

Each one of those couples displayed romance and love, so I believed it was out there for me. As I drew closer to forty, I was starting to panic. I wanted the marriage, the house, the kids, and all the great things our parents said we should have. I wanted brunch once a month with my girls on Saturdays, dinner at my parents’ house after church, and date nights with my husband once a week. Unfortunately, only two of those things had come true for me: brunch with the girls and dinner at my parents’.

Over the years, the girls had gradually exchanged Saturday nights at the clubs and lounges for Saturday night dates with their boos, or in Jade’s case, her husband.

“You have to make it happen. You can’t sit around waiting for a man to make it happen. They’re really not wired like that,” Symone declared.

“I don’t agree. I believe there are great men out there who are gentlemen, protectors, and romantics,” I argued.

“You’ve been dating Tyrus for just over eight months; that’s a record. Usually, you date a man for six months, he leaves because you won’t have sex with him, then you’re alone for the next two to three years where you burrow into your business, and then you pull your head out of the sand again to do it all over again,” Symone remarked.

“The men I have dated either were insecure because I did not need them financially because I’m a business owner, needed more than one woman, or they didn’t know how to respect or treat a woman.”

“It’s the ones you’re choosing, Myr. No sooner than you get disappointed with one, you back away from dating altogether, and when you’re ready to date again, you jump at the first man who pays attention to you. That’s a thirst trap. Make up your mind that you want to date, and take your time finding the right man, but don’t make it impossible for a man to be in your life,” Jade stated.

“I’m just tired of being lonely.” I pouted.

“What’s going on with you and Tyrus?” Yashika asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Girl, please. I don’t want the hassle. He’s constantly complaining I work too much, then there’s him, who barely goes to work.”

“Well, maybe he’s got his priorities in order. You know—work life balance,” Jade stated.

“Or maybe he’s just a lazy bum,” I retorted.

“Girl, you stay finding something wrong with every man you date. What’s the reason, sis?” Yashika asked.

“I’m just looking for the one who’s right for me, and I haven’t found him yet.” I threw my hands up in mock disgust.

“You’re looking for a perfect man, and he doesn’t exist,” Jade countered.

“Best friend, if you could have the perfect man for you, what would those traits be?” Symone asked compassionately.

“Obviously, he needs to be attractive and fine. If I’m not attracted to him, what’s the point? He needs to have a career, not a job, he needs his own place and not staying in his mama’s or somebody’s basement, and he needs to be devoted to me. I need him to put me first before everything except for important matters, obviously, but definitely before his boys, a fight, or a game. I want him to be super protective and fierce when anyone even thinks about looking at me crazy. He needs that touch her and you die type shit, a soft heart for me and his mama, a good listener, and respectful of my thoughts and emotions.”

Yashika commented, “I mean, Antoine’s brother, Andrew, is about to get out of jail, and I could hook y’all up. He was in for aggravated assault and attempted murder, but he’s reformed now. He’s only been in for six years.”

We all looked at her like she’d lost her damn mind.

“Heffa, is you crazy?” Jade asked, snickering.

“Whaaat? I mean, she said she wants a nigga that’s like touch her and you die; he’s that nigga,” Yashika stated.

“She didn’t say she wanted a crashout, friend,” Symone proclaimed, patting her on the shoulder.

“She also just described a damn man that don’t exist except in the wild imaginations of these damn authors,” Yashika argued.

“She wants a book bae,” Jade and Symone declared simultaneously.

“I believe a man like that does exist.”

“Then why are you looking so miserable, friend?” Symone asked.

“Honestly, I’m lonely. I just want one magical night with a man who gives me romance, treats me like a lady, and sets my soul and body on fire. Just one night to reinforce my belief and erase that niggling doubt that pops up when y’all start talking,” I stated, rolling my eyes.

“Listen, there’s nothing wrong with waiting, sis. But if you get that one night, it doesn’t mean that he will be flawless. He’s not going to be romantic all the time,” Jade stated.

I popped a Werther’s in my mouth and asked, “You don’t think that I can find a book bae?”