Page 46 of Highlander’s Evil Twin

Even though she had tried to stay awake afterwards, somehow sleep had claimed her again. She was woken later when Hiram carried in a very worn out Alistair and she smiled, trying to sit up and to gain some clarity.

“I thought you would want to kiss him goodnight. I hope you don’t mind?” Hiram said.

“Not at all.”

She kissed her son, who was a little fractious. “He’s been so good today. Can you pop him to bed? I am nice and warm.”

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

“Aye my love. Just tired tonight, that’s all.”

“Next time tell me,” Hiram warned and kissed her.

He was only in the room next to theirs and she waited eagerly for Hiram to come back. She could use some closeness with her husband, and some privacy. She was sure she would be too tired to even dream.

26

It didn’t seem possible that Maggie had already been married for a week. She’d been over just that morning and they had shared a late breakfast; they’d both greeted her with deep pleasure. She is glowing with joy and excitement, Heather thought, and it is so nice to see her in this happy state. She had only come back to collect some more of her belongings but talked animatedly about the plans that Heath had for his home. Although with older brothers, he was not going to have outright control. However, it seemed they all listened to him and took suggestions on board.

“It’s very much a family affair,” Maggie said, tucking into a slice of homemade bread. I was a little worried that they would not listen to him since he is the youngest, but they all respect his opinion. It’s so nice to see that.”

“You’re happy then?” he asked. “No doubts?”

“I should hope not, after a week.” Heather laughed. “But seriously Maggie, you are happy? I know you are, it’s a stupid question, I can see it in your eyes.”

Maggie beamed at her. “I’ve never been so happy in my life.”

“Sorry to break up this family reunion, but I have to ride over to one of the cottages today. I will catch you both later.” He laid one hand on to his sister’s shoulder and then left the room. They could hear his footsteps receding as he walked through the hallway and out the door.

“I’m glad we are alone,” Maggie said. “I am a little worried about you.”

“Oh no, not you, too.” Heather sighed.

“Please don’t take offense Heather. Hiram hasn’t said anything to me, but you disappeared at the reception and seeing you today, well, you just don’t look yourself.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not taking offense. It is nice that you care. I keep meaning to go to the doctor but just feel drowsy all the time. The problem is that I am having terrible nightmares, keep thinking that I’m seeing things. I wondered if I was going mad.” She tried to laugh but failed.

“I’m sure it’s nothing that can’t be solved, but go see the doctor.”

After Maggie had left, Heather felt restless. It just wasn’t right, this constant feeling of drowsiness that threatened to sweep over her. At times, it became worse through the day but at night, she would sleep into a deep, restless state, and be woken by the most paralyzing of nightmares. Perhaps it was something that she had not settled in her own life, but she could not think what. She didn’t even think about making love with Hiram in the same way. She enjoyed their closeness, but without her energy levels, her inner essence felt jaded. Her feelings had not changed at all; if anything, they had deepened, but her sexual appetite had diminished.

She had often wondered whether their passion would only burn so bright for a period of time, but she was sure that this was not the natural way of things for them. It was to do with this virus or whatever it was. It was affecting their lives though and it could not continue. She could count the number of times that they had made love since Alistair was born. To his credit, Hiram didn’t complain at all. He was so understanding of her and she knew his mind was more than a little distracted at times. There had been times when she had wondered whether he found having a baby difficult. But he loved his son. Still, having a baby certainly altered their lives. She knew he still wanted more children, but he didn’t seem to be as keen to make that happen. But then, he was worried about her health and so making her pregnant was not the priority. She even wondered if the tiredness was due to the amount of breastfeeding that she was doing. She didn’t begrudge or regret breastfeeding for a single second; it had helped create an unbreakable bond between her and the baby. Just knowing that she was able to produce enough milk to feed him filled her with joy and satisfaction, though it was also draining.

Alistair was a big baby. He was healthy and was developing rapidly, no doubt benefiting from the richness of the milk, but he was greedy too. There were times when he would latch on for what seemed like hours. In the early days, she had been practically feeding him every hour and had become a little sore. Now he was going much longer in between sessions, but she would ask the doctor’s advice about when to supplement the milk. Although she had taken to motherhood in an instinctive way, there were so many things that she did not know, and still had to learn. She knew the process would get easier with each child and that was something she wanted to think about the moment she felt well enough.

It was time to feed him again. She could hear crying from the other room and immediately, her breasts seemed to swell and fill as if responding instinctively to his need for a feed. She rushed into the room. He had pulled himself up against the side of the grave, his chubby little hands clutching the bars, as if desperate to get out. There was real sorrow in his eyes as he looked up at her and his tears were fresh upon his cheeks. Her heart lurched. Such a beautiful boy.

He reached up for her and nearly fell, not quite able to balance himself, and she caught him quickly and brought him to her. He was warm against her and she breathed in his scent. They curled up on the bed together, as it was easier to find the right position. She had learned that she could support his weight by the pillows rather than having to hold him. Heather allowed her eyes to close, enjoying the moment of closeness with her son, but fighting to stay awake. The compulsion to let the world just drift away was overwhelming. She was always terrified that she might change position and roll onto him and fought hard to stay awake, but there was an air of stillness all around and it even drew her towards slumber. Not even the footsteps walking overhead alerted her mind. She was drifting, in between sleep and daydreaming, she was contented and yielding to wave after wave of tiredness. It was only when Alistair hiccupped in her arms that brought her back from her partial slumber. She sat up quickly, panicking that she might have hurt him. Groggily, she picked him up and then placed him back in the crib, just as the room started spinning around.

The floor beneath her seem to lurch and she clung to the crib for dear life. Suddenly, she felt hot, feverish, and knew something was wrong. Her lips felt swollen. Her tongue was dry. She couldn’t seem to shout for help. Staggering towards the bed, she collapsed, tears springing to her eyes. What was wrong with her? She desperately wished that Hiram was by her side. He would know what to do, she couldn’t fight this alone. Her stomach began to hurt. She felt sick and curled up in a fetal position and prayed for the sensations to pass. Moaning softly, she rocked herself, trying to offset the feelings while sweat dripped down her face and neck. She was burning up. The room continued to spin crazily and Heather lay back on the bed, not able to even lift her head.

Whatever was wrong had hit her with a vengeance. Was she dying? She needed Hiram here to watch Alistair. She knew that he would need her again soon, but she couldn’t move. Dizziness engulfed her once more, and she cried out with pain. She felt disconnected with the world and slid deeper into this state of being, sweat merging with her tears, not sure what was real and what was not.

It felt as if one of her nightmares had come alive. Conner’s face was leaning over her, peering at her. His hands came towards her throat and she could feel them pressing against her soft skin.

“Wake up, wake up,” she told herself, but she couldn’t.

She was being dragged deeper and deeper within the dream and now he was laughing at her, tormenting her. She was running as fast as she could to escape from him. She was on the moors, terrified and alone. It was hot, too hot. She had to keep going. He was chasing her. Dark clouds began to scurry overhead, blocking the sun’s rays. She shivered, the sweat turning her body cold. All the while Connor was taunting her. She couldn’t see him, but he was there, he always had been. He had promised he would win. She screamed, desperate to get away from him, and then the rain clouds came, forming with intensity above her. The sky was angry, clouds dense.