Page 45 of The Haunted Duke

Evander drained his glass and set it down.

“It does not matter,” he replied dismissively.

“It does,” Helena quickly countered. “Because I believe you have seen through mine.”

Evander finally looked at her again, his blue eyes filled with that unrestrained longing she had seen the night before.

“Speak plainly, please, Helena. I am too weary to try to decipher your secret language. People will be looking for you, and Jeremy will—”

“I do not care. It is all a ruse,” she said, her confession coming out in a rush as she took another step toward him. “None of it is real. I do not have a relationship with Jeremy, and I suspect that you knew that almost right from the beginning.”

Relief flooded into Evander’s eyes, but only for a second before his guard went back up.

“I had my suspicions,” he answered stiffly. “And yet, you are still getting married to him.”

“Jeremy’s grandmother would not stop insisting that he get married,” Helena went on. “And he said if I married him, he could help my family recover from our financial issues. I do not know how aware you are of my family’s troubles, but we have been struggling for quite some time. Ever since my father’s passing…”

She paused, a tremor of pain passing through her heart at the memory of her father.

“My mother…” she went on, gathering her courage. “My mother made an arrangement with Lord Ingram so that he would assist with some of that financial trouble, but his demands are growing more lurid. When Jeremy asked me to put on this ruse for his grandmother, I refused at first. I do love Jeremy, but as a sister would love a brother. I knew that the chances of me finding my love match were minimal ever since I had to leave the marriage mart, but I was still holding out hope. But then…”

Evander stood, his gaze intense and full of questions as he took a step toward her.

“What happened, Helena?” he asked, his tone suddenly soft.

Helena swallowed.

“I came home that night after Jeremy proposed, and Lord Ingram was there. He said some appalling things to me. My mother stopped him and told him that I was not part of their contract. But he just laughed at that. I realized then that, whether I was in love with Jeremy or not, I needed to accept his proposal if only to get my family out of Lord Ingram’s claws.”

She looked at Evander anxiously, silently pleading for him to understand.

“I did not tell Jeremy what happened with Lord Ingram, only that I would marry him. He was so excited, and I tried to tell myself that everything would be all right if I just went through with the marriage, but then… then I met you.”

Pain flittered through Evander’s eyes, but he stayed silent.

“You were rude to me,” she said with a bitter laugh. “But even then, I found you agonizingly handsome. And something about you was strikingly familiar, as if I had always known you, even though I know otherwise. I told myself that was ridiculous, and I thought that if I could ignore my attraction to you by being angry with you, such thoughts and feelings would go away. But then you started doing things that made my heart soar, and I…”

“What things?” Evander rasped, taking another step closer.

“Like somehow picking out my favorite flower for the bouquets,” she explained, shaking her head. “I do not know how you knew, but you did.”

Evander let out a strangled sound as his stoic features gave way to emotion.

“Are you…” she started to ask.

“Keep going,” he cut her off, loosening his tightly tied cravat.

Helena waited another moment, still worried for him, but after another imploring look from him, she continued.

“You are the only one who was concerned about the love in my relationship with Jeremy. No one, not even my mother, once asked if I was in love. They were just excited that I was not going to become a spinster and that, in fact, I was marrying into a wealthy family. You were the only one who questioned whether I was happy.”

“At first, I thought you were asking to be cruel because you did not find me worthy of being married to your friend. Then last night, when you were so concerned with the bruises on my throat, I had… Well, I could not help but wonder if you had been asking because you truly do care for me. And that perhaps you were trying to push me away in the beginning was because you shared the same feelings and attraction as I do for you.”

Helena shook her head, embarrassed by the way she was explaining everything. Now that she was saying her thoughts out loud, she was sure she sounded utterly arrogant and full of herself. Still, she pushed forward.

“You are not a cad,” she forced out. “You have proven yourself to be a gentleman time and again. Not sharing a room with me at the inn. Not letting the staff catch us in the ballroom when we were left alone. So last night, I believe you asked me if you should kiss me because you truly felt something for me. However, if I am wrong, I need you to tell me now, because I cannot stand these thoughts and feelings any longer.”

Evander’s jaw tensed as he looked to the floor.